February 06, 2011

Having Pun with the Egypt Protests

Anyone who has absorbed any amount of global news over the last few weeks knows there are massive protests taking place in the country of Egypt.

As a columnist, I feel it is my duty explain why the Egyptian protests are happening so we as Americans can better understand a people and a country with one of the planet's most rich and storied histories.

As Pharos anyone can tell, the protesters have Ra emotions and want the immediate departure of their president, Hosni Mubarak, who has held his position since 1981. After 30 years, Egyptians believe he's ruled for too long and has become an out-of-touch Giza, although some take it even further.

"He's not just a Giza, he's a total cartouche bag," said protester Ahmed Khalid, 44. "He mastaba lot of nerve, denying the will of the people. How Darius! He's promised us many things over the years, but has always failed to deliver on his promises. In my opinion, Egypt us! He thinks he's above the people, that he's somehow too Khufu school."

Mubarak has steadfastly refused to step down, insisting the protesters are merely part of a great pyramid scheme to oust him from power. In public appearances, Mubarak has been defiant but is clearly showing the strain, with a Horus voice some suspect may be the result of a sore sarcophagus. To assuage his critics, he dissolved his unpopular cabinet, proclaiming "I have let my people go."

"Clearly he's a bit of a Nut, but he's a Tefnut to crack," said protester Mahmoud Shah, 32. "He's been fortunate up until now, but he's pushed his Luxor a bit too far. He repeatedly Ramses unpopular policies through that aren't at all Pharaoh to the people of Egypt. We need to invest in our country's future, but he's too much of a Cheopskate to provide funding."

Although Egyptian protests seem like a rare event, in fact they're not Tutankhamun. These protests, however, have taken up almost all of Mubarak's attention, in addition to a workload that has him Vizier than at any other time during his presidency.

"I Ahmose feel sorry for him sometimes; OK, not really," said protester Mustaf Achmed, 26. "Anubis day would come eventually, and I'm so Hapi to be a part of it all. I don't care what Mubarak Sphinx--he's on his way out."

NOTE: With a hat-tip to LearnedFoot for many of these pun gems.

Posted by Ryan at February 6, 2011 08:22 PM | TrackBack

I think we've done a public service here, helping the world understand something or other.

Posted by: LearnedFoot at February 8, 2011 01:45 PM
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