January 18, 2011

Sew What

Gradually, it's starting to feel as though I live in hospitals and, as clean and orderly as they are, I can't help but get incredibly tired of the hallways and wheelchairs and omnipresent beeps, dings and other ambient noises.

Today, my wife went in to the O.R. to have her c-section incision sewn back together.


A less exasperated writer could no doubt ascribe some great metaphorical importance to this development; perhaps noting the closure of the wound from which all this drama emerged denotes a possible end to the constant string of unfortunate events of the past month.

Whatever. I'm just glad I no longer have to stuff that damned wound with gauze every morning and evening. If my wife will be able to pick up our 16-month-old son and drive a car in the next few days, well that's all the better.

Our little daughter continues to defy the ridiculous odds set against her, although her lungs remain very sick and fragile, requiring a delicate balance of steroids, O2 and respirator pressure to carry her from day to day. Other than that, her numbers are strong and she regularly opens her eyes when she feels someone touch her hand or shoulder.

As much as I like seeing her open her eyes, I can't help but notice how exhausted she seems when she looks around her incubator environment. It's hard to explain exactly what I see, but it's almost as if she's thinking "Oh, not this shit again."

And really, if that is what she's thinking, I can't say I blame her, because it looks like a pretty monotonous existence with Herculean hopes and expectations being placed on her miniscule body and mind.

When we eventually bring her home, she's going to totally rule her mother and me and get pretty much whatever she wants whenever she wants, because holy crap she'll have earned it.

Posted by Ryan at January 18, 2011 04:25 PM | TrackBack

I'd not stopped by here for awhile, and when I did saw everything that had been happening, and I have no words that could comfort you, nothing absolute that I could do for you to help, but still.....just know that there are people out here that care about you, are thinking about you, and praying for you. If there is anything I could do, even if it's just reading an email, or hell, I don't know what, let me know. I'll light a candle for Finn, and another for Zoey.

Posted by: Donna at January 18, 2011 09:54 PM

Ryan, can you email me your home address?

Thank you!


Posted by: Danielle Teal at January 19, 2011 03:42 PM
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