January 12, 2011

I've Smelled the Hospital Hallways

I managed to take a nap for about an hour today. I should have been writing a freelance article, but in exhaustion-heavy days such as those of the past couple weeks, you take sleep whenever your body allows or demands.

I had a very, very vivid dream. It was so vivid, in fact, I was somewhat surprised to wake up and realize it actually was a dream.

In the dream, I was in the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU) hospital wing, and every room, corner, desk and doorway was exactly where they actually are, but there was no equipment of any kind, anywhere. Every hallway, room and open space was completely empty. Only the walls, windows and doors remained. And there were no people to be found, either.

I just roamed from empty room to empty room, vaguely curious where they moved my daughter, but mostly I was sort of enjoying the open, uncluttered quietness of it all, with only my footsteps echoing in the caverness spaces.

As with most dreams I can actually remember, I've spent time on and off today trying to make sense of the dream, but mostly I think it was just my subconscious trying to strip away all the NICU noise and activity and exist in that place in open solitude, if only for a short while. It must have been some sort of mental coping mechanism, because I did feel a bit less stressed following the dream.

Posted by Ryan at January 12, 2011 08:35 PM | TrackBack

Ryan, Im thinking of you and your family. Your blog entries are absolutely hauntingly beautiful. <3 You truly have a gift. Please let me know if you need anything. <3

Posted by: Danielle Teal at January 13, 2011 01:32 PM

Hey Danielle. It's nice to hear from you, and thanks for the kind words. These last couple weeks have been seriously difficult, but we're pushing through as best we can.

Posted by: Ryan at January 13, 2011 02:36 PM

Im following closely and have you all close to my heart. <3

Posted by: Danielle Teal at January 17, 2011 12:18 PM
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