October 01, 2010

I can't get no satisfaction

When you're married, with a little boy running around, you really have to learn to pick your battles. When you're simply married, sans children, you can quibble and argue about all the meaningless crap you want. Once you have a little one toddling around, however, you realize that all that quibbling and arguing is a completely useless expenditure of energy.

Still, sometimes it's just the principle of the thing. Today, for example, my wife and I were sitting on the couch, while the boy cooed and babbled on the floor, playing with his endless supply of toys. I happened to notice a roll of StarBurst fruit chew candy on the coffee table, and I set about finding a cherry one, because they're hands down the best tasting StarBurst flavor. I found a cherry StarBurst and unwrapped it. I then set it on the coffee table to save until after I finished drinking my Diet Pepsi, because candy residue in you mouth makes soda fizz and bubble more than usual, and I find that incredibly annoying.

That's when we noticed the smell. I knew it wasn't coming from me, and it's very rarely my wife, so I knew the boy's diaper needed to be changed. And, boy howdy! Did it ever need to be changed! It was easily in the top five running for the nastiest diaper bomb I'd ever encountered. But, I soldiered on, knowing, in the back of my mind, that an unwrapped cherry StarBurst was waiting patiently for my return.

But, upon my return, I discovered my StarBurst had gone missing. I knew, right away, my wife had eaten my StarBurst, and I was furious. I was simply taken aback by the sheer selfishness required to swipe another person's hard-earned, UNWRAPPED, StarBurst. A heated verbal exchange ensued, but it was obvious I had the high ground, so she gave up the fight after a few choice words, leaving me completely unsatisfied with the outcome.

So, I went back to that pack of StarBurst and ate every last remaining square, including the pink ones, which I honestly can't stand.

And that was pretty much the highlight of my day. Well, that and my boy giving me a hug before I put him down in his crib for the night. That was pretty cool, too. I guess.

Posted by Ryan at October 1, 2010 07:26 PM | TrackBack

You got upset because your wife ate your StarBurst? Lol! Maybe you were upset because it just happened at a time after the diaper event?

Well, you ate the rest in the pack, so you got your satisfaction, and the warm hug before the end of your night.

Posted by: Terry at October 8, 2010 09:35 PM

I totally get this post. Unfortunately, my wife gets to pick her battles too.

Posted by: Erik at November 23, 2010 04:03 PM
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