August 17, 2010

Announcing: "Annoying Toys!"

As my previous post indicated, I now have some free time on my hands, and it occurred to me that this may be a good opportunity to dust off an idea I've had for some time. Basically, I think it would be funny to post some of the more annoying toys that have found their way into our previously quiet household.

This first item, I've dubbed "Hell Tractor," because I have no idea how we procured this ridiculous thing, so I can only assume it arrived here via a portal from hell. It arrived sans batteries, which should have tipped me off that even Satan couldn't stand this thing in its fully-functional form.

Originally, our son loved the tractor when it was just inanimate and innocent. But then I went and decided to see what the thing would do if I loaded in some batteries. Imagine my surprise when I first wiggled the farmer, which is totally not a euphemism for masturbation, but probably should be:

Great howling crash wagons!

The first time I fired that thing up, my son started screaming his disapproval, and really, who could blame him. It probably didn't help that the damned thing started cruising right at him. How could you see this coming at you and not start screaming?

It also scares the hell out of the cats. When they hear Hell Tractor's engine sputtering to life, they run and hide either under the bed, or in the litter box.

Posted by Ryan at August 17, 2010 04:07 PM | TrackBack
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