July 06, 2009

Memory Mate

It's been awhile since I've jumped into the insanity of current news headlines to bring to you, my valued four readers, the news and information that tends to slip through the cracks of the more mainstream media outlets.

With the news today being dominated by frankly boring reports of an imploding worldwide economy and national unemployment nearing 10 percent, the mainstream media is lapsing in its responsibility to bring you the news that's important; the news that matters.

For example, I'm willing to bet, thanks to all the gloom and doom reporting you've been subjected to over the last week or so, you didn't hear about the California elementary school teacher who sent her students home for the summer, equipped with DVDs chock full of school year memories, plus six accidental seconds of her having sex on a couch.

According to a July 3 Reuters news report out of Elk Grove, Calif. Officials at the Elk Grove Unified School District asked families of the teacher's 24 students to get rid of the DVD after the unintended clip was found spliced in a scene where children were sharing stories in class.

I can just about imagine the surprise on the parents' faces, watching their precious little girl relate how her favorite moment of the year was learning her multiplication tables, when suddenly the scene shifted to the teacher getting her groove on aboard a nice sectional. There may have even been a few confused seconds during which the parents wondered whether that's how multiplication tables are taught nowadays. "No Child Left Behind," indeed!

The school district, located just south of Sacramento, initially sent a letter home to parents asking them to return the DVDs, but then asked parents to simply destroy them.

You can interpret that in one of two ways. On the one hand, you can think of it as the school district simply intending to ensure the embarrassing video isn't viewed by any youngsters. On the other hand, perhaps school district members actually saw the clip and deemed it so horrible that they'd rather have it destroyed than sent back.

How bad would you feel about your libidinous performance that an entire school district implores parents to destroy your home video? Destroying the DVD just strikes me as overkill, like Nazi book-burning. I figure, at that point, when she's already at her embarrassment low point, she should have tried to save some shred of pride by insisting the parents send the DVDs back to her. At the very least, she'd have 24 copies of her cinematic masterpiece. Plus, if they're re-writable DVDs, she can record over them with even better videos.

Besides, in today's uncertain economic time, you can never be too frugal.

Posted by Ryan at July 6, 2009 01:15 PM | TrackBack
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