December 02, 2008

Economic Decline

You know how you can tell that the economy is in a severe slump? I'll tell you how: you go to Subway and ask for Swiss cheese, only to be informed SUBWAY HAS DISCONTINUED SWISS CHEESE.

Here's how you know you've really made it in life: you wake up one morning, lazily dial an underling, and decree a discontinuation of a certain cheese. Then you hang up and fall back asleep, with a wry grin on your face as your unconscious mind plays out all sorts of scenarios unfolding due to your rash decision.

Seriously, what goes into a business decision that leads to a discontinued Subway cheese? I'd love to see that PowerPoint presentation:

PPT GUY: "So, as you can see, Swiss cheese sales are down 5 percent from last year, easily falling below sales of both pepper jack and cheddar. As this graph shows, if we simply stop stocking our stores with the triangle slices of Swiss cheese, we can realize a profit increase of .07 percent."

ME: *raising hand*

PPT GUY: Yesssss?

ME: I don't get it.

PPT GUY: What don't you get?

ME: Well, it's a building that turns into a robot. . .

PPT GUY: Exactly.

ME: What's fun about that?

Okay, I'm clearly going off in a different direction here. Tom Hanks would be proud.

Posted by Ryan at December 2, 2008 09:58 AM | TrackBack
Comments

Subway puts actual cheese on sandwiches? Who knew?!

Posted by: Bike Bubba at December 4, 2008 09:47 AM
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