June 13, 2008

Lining up around the block just to get one

Obviously, I'm still pretty new to the upgraded writing gig, and I'm still learning how to write and edit in a world of completely unfamiliar lingo. However, I've had a few good laughs, at least to myself, while working my way through editing/writing assignments.

Yesterday, for example, I was working away when I encountered the following turn of phrase:

In perineal surgery, doctors make an incision between the anus and the scrotum. This approach is not as popular as the retropubic procedure.

Not as popular, eh? A good old scalpel to the taint just doesn't bring 'em through the doors like it used to. Why, I remember a time when a jabbed taint and a good strong cup of coffee was just what you needed to get your day started; called it a "Taint -n- Go," if I recall correctly.

That retropubic procedure just went and spoiled EVERYTHING.

Posted by Ryan at June 13, 2008 01:39 PM | TrackBack

I'm just curious why another hole is needed?

Posted by: Autumn at June 13, 2008 03:02 PM

Prostate surgery, Autumn. You won't have to worry about that.

Or do you. . . ?

Posted by: Ryan at June 13, 2008 03:58 PM

Well, there is also the draining of a pari-rectal abscess. I could provide you an interview on those from which wou could write a 4-part series.

Posted by: LearnedFoot at June 16, 2008 07:19 AM

Glad I asked. And you may be right, Ryan; my lesbo friends think I'm more of a man than most guys.

Posted by: Autumn at June 16, 2008 08:31 AM

Autumn, from my own observations, I can attest that your generous sweater puppies would indicate quantifiable femaleness within your gender.

Yes, you could probably drink me under most tables, and your knowledge of electricity and plumbing and welding and general carpentry dwarf anything I've ever even attempted but, again, I barely even notice any of that when confronted with your ample chest.

In conclusion, jokes aside, I'm pretty sure you're a female. With big jugs.

And, LearnedFoot? TMI, man. T.M.I.

Posted by: Ryan at June 16, 2008 09:06 AM

Nice; thanks, Ryan.

Posted by: Autumn at June 16, 2008 10:36 AM

What? You could at LEAST mention my enormous. . . ears.

Posted by: Ryan at June 16, 2008 10:46 AM

I think you mean "ego".

Posted by: Autumn at June 16, 2008 01:06 PM


And. . . ouch.

Well played. You win this round.

Posted by: Ryan at June 16, 2008 01:14 PM

What? You don't want to learn about the massive buildup of pus in my right buttcheek, extending down into my taintal area? And how it took 3 days to fully drain through a wound in my perenium held open with 2 feet of surgical gauze packed all the way to the back of the cavity opened by the pus? And how I had to pull the gauze out of my taint wound MYSELF (under the warm caressing hand of Our Mother Vicodin)after the third day?

I thought I knew you man!

Posted by: LearnedFoot at June 16, 2008 08:41 PM

It's not so much that I didn't want to know all that, LF. It's more about how I'd rather think about Autumn's breasts.

Posted by: Ryan at June 17, 2008 06:56 AM


Posted by: Autumn at June 17, 2008 08:27 AM

"I'd Rather Think of Autumn's Breasts"

Sounds like you've got a new name for your blog!

After that, you can go with "Internet Butt Pus".

Posted by: LearnedFoot at June 17, 2008 08:32 AM

Er, "about". "I'd Rather Think ABOUT Autumn's Breasts".

I look forward to seeing the image you use on the sidebar.

Posted by: LearnedFoot at June 17, 2008 08:33 AM

Don't you dare!

Posted by: Autumn at June 17, 2008 09:04 AM

1. Internet Butt Pus is an awesome blog name.
2. Retropubic sounds like a movement of hipsters shunning the practice of Brazilian waxing, and going with the big hairy thatch look.
3. I have more sweater meat than many girls I know.
4. You've put my favorite bunny of all time in the sidebar.

Posted by: Keith at June 17, 2008 02:05 PM

I had the same kind of silly thoughts regarding "retropubic," Keith. It's kind of impossible NOT to go there.

Posted by: Ryan at June 17, 2008 05:56 PM
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