In honor of Blog for Bacon Day 2008:
O Bacon! my bacon! our tasty breakfast is now nigh;
The pork has been shorn from every rib, from the hip, back, legs and thigh;
The pork is near, the sizzling I hear, the taste buds all exulting,
While follow eyes the steady meal, the ribbony grissle flaring:
But O heart! heart! heart!
O the clogged arteries constrict,
Where in my chest, my aorta cries,
An eventual coronary, I do predict.
O bacon! my bacon! You greasy siren meat of sow.
Rise up—for you the pans are heated—for you the doctors won't allow;
For you forks poise and tongues await—for you arterial walls are clogging;
For you they call, the obese masses, with many of them even blogging;
Here bacon! dear breakfast slag!
This fork tine pinned through your grease;
It is some dream that on the plate,
My lifespan you will decrease.
My bacon does not answer, as it has no lips and cannot speak;
My bacon does not feel my stomach juices, as it's digested through the week;
The heart is anchor’d safe for now, its bacon doomsday all but certain;
From this day on, the bacon builds, to my coronary final curtain;
I exult, for now, my bacon fork held high!
But I, with creeping dread,
Know where my bacon future lies,
Fallen cold and dead.
Stumble It!
