Rambling Rhodes

Another Idea That Should Have Been Mine

INCREDIBLY NSFW LINK.

Granted, I would have called it something more catchy, like "Bottled Bush," or "Vageline" or "Crotch Rot." Is it just me, or does that model have the severe look of someone who just oozes angry Vulva?

Key Quote: "VULVA Original is not a perfume. It is a beguiling vaginal scent which is purely a substance for your own smelling pleasure. Breathe in and enjoy, anytime, anywhere, the odour of a beautiful woman."

Just imagine, walking into your boss's office, only to see him taking a big whiff of Vulva.

YOU: Oh, sorry, boss.

BOSS: Don't you knock?!

Not that I read up on the product or anything, but apparently you rub Vulva on the back of your hand using a special applicator. You then wait a few moments for it to be absorbed into the skin, at which point you're free to sniff the back of your hand until your nose tingles with the scent of Vulva.

Honestly, how does one become so addicted to the "tangy" aroma of a female's crotch they have to keep a flask of Vulva handy? Is there a 12 step plan in place for dealing with such an addiction?

UPDATE: You know, the more I think about it, the more obsessed with Vulva I'm becoming. For example, notice the package says "Vulva Original," which implies a sequel or follow-up product. And, really, which woman in the world has a claim to the smell of the original Vulva? Eve, I suppose, if you want to get all Biblical. But, then again, there's Summer's Eve douche, which is supposed to scour out that "tangy" smell.

I wonder, if you were to combine Vulva with Summer's Eve, would there be a kind of matter/anti-matter reaction that produces nearly limitless energy? I'm not saying you should try it, necessarily, but I'm curious.

Also, notice the packaging says "Vaginal Scent," which again implies some sort of alternative scent yet to be announced. I'm imagining a throng of horned up males, standing in line, sniffing aggressively at the back of their hands, waiting to purchase their first bottle of "Vulva 2.0: Taint Scent."

LOL UPDATE: Jimmo comments: "$30 per phial? For something I could make myself with a can of StarKist and a strainer?"

That made an already good day, even better.

PROPHETIC UPDATE: I suppose I should be bracing myself for the types of targeted Google ads that are going to start appearing here as a result of this post.

Posted by Ryan at September 21, 2007 09:51 AM | TrackBack