June 18, 2007

It's right twice a day

Sunday morning, I awoke at 7:45 a.m., which astounded me, because I'm notorious when it comes to sleeping in until noon on most weekends. I actually look forward to weekends SPECIFICALLY because I'll be able to sleep in until noon for two consecutive days.

So, I was a bit surprised to awaken that early in the morning, and I was also a bit elated, because it meant I could. . . GO BACK TO SLEEP! Which I did, and I slept luxuriously until waking up and checking my watch again, only to see it was. . . 7:45 a.m.

Obviously, time had stopped! I fully expected to fling open the drapes and see a world frozen in time: birds, captured in mid-wing flappage, a dog in mid-air, about to catch a frisbee, the neighbor across the street, two knuckles deep into her nose. . . all magically suspended by the mysterious powers of my wrist-bound chronograph.

Actually, no. My watch had stopped, and the world continued twirling unabated: birds continued flying, dogs caught frisbees unimpeded, and nose nuggets aplenty were dislodged by a determined neighbor. A dead watch battery does not, alas, cause time to stop.

Little known fact about me: I become slightly unhinged when I don't have the correct time readily available to me. I'm a clock watcher. I like to know what time it is. . . TO THE MINUTE. I'm not one of those free spirits who views time as a human construct meant to establish order and thinks you should just, you know, chill out man and enjoy the ride that is life. I like to hit those free spirits with my watch, which is probably why my watches tend to stop working all the time.

Anyway, there I was on Sunday, bereft of a working time piece, trying to golf and enjoy other weekend activities, all while hindered with the nagging thought: "What time is it?!"

SANE ME: Wow, that was a nice drive off the tee. That ball had to have gone 270 yards.

CLOCK WATCHER ME: Fine, fine. Yes, it was a nice drive, BUT HOW LONG DID IT TAKE?! What time is it?! At least check the sun's position in the sky. Throw me a bone here!

SANE ME: This is a relaxing dinner with my parents. I should really try to do this more often.

CLOCK WATCHER ME: Have dinner with them every day, for all I care, just so long as you KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS! It looks like it might be 6 p.m., but it COULD be 6:30 p.m. That difference is crucial!

Watch withdrawal is not a pretty process to watch, either. I'm constantly checking my wrist, as if I'm looking for newly-sprouted arm hair, roughly every ten minutes or so, which must look really weird to onlooking strangers.

Hopefully I'll have a new watch battery installed by the end of the day. If not, I could very well descend into further madness.

Posted by Ryan at June 18, 2007 11:53 AM | TrackBack

I went on vacation a couple years ago with friends. We had a condo for a week in Belize.

We walked in the door and put our stuff down, and then I took my watch off and placed it on the kitchen counter. I turned to one of my friends:

Me: Ask me what time it is.

He: What time is it?

Me: (looks out window) Morning. I think.

Most relaxing vacation I ever had. :)

Posted by: Stephen Rider at June 21, 2007 01:10 PM
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