February 08, 2007

Lousy Cum-Guzzling Boozehounds

Remember when I wrote this post?

Good times. Good times.

Well, I spent some time surfing around to find some of the written wonderments that flowed forth from Amanda Marcotte's keyboard, and this bit was just too good to let pass:

I wish I wasn’t a cum-guzzling boozehound."

Now, I've known some cum-guzzlers in my day. They're like gas-guzzlers, only more whorish. I've also known some boozehouds. But, I don't think I've ever actually met a cum-guzzling boozehound, and frankly, up until the point I read Amanda's fervent wish not to be one, I didn't realize there even were cum-guzzling boozehounds.

Don't get me wrong, I have nothing but the utmost respect for cum-guzzlers and boozehounds, but I just didn't think it was possible to merge cum-guzzling and boozehounding. I mean, that's A LOT of liquid intake. When do you find time to do anything else? One minute you're guzzling cum, and the next you're taking a pull off a Jack Daniels bottle. What if you accidentally mix them up? What if you find yourself guzzling booze and hounding cum? How embarrassing would that be? Worse, what if you guzzled hounds? PETA would be all over your ass. Hound guzzling is only allowed in Korea.

I suppose it would be possible to be a cum-guzzling boozehound in a more sophisticated way, but I think it would require some pretty nasty mixed drinks, and I'd be terrified, personally, about going to a bar and having the bartender misunderstand me. Somehow, taking an accidental swig of a "seven-seven and semen" would probably put a real damper on my evening, all because Amanda and her fellow cum-guzzling boozehounds wanted to engage in their dual passions in a more sophisticated fashion.

UPDATE: Wow, there's nothing like being blatantly plagiarized by an X-rated porn site; by a random content search bot no less. Warning: do not click this link unless you and your employers/managers are okay with hardcore pornography.

Posted by Ryan at February 8, 2007 03:58 PM | TrackBack


Posted by: Bob at February 9, 2007 07:49 AM

*bowing graciously*

Posted by: Ryan at February 9, 2007 09:17 AM

Cum-guzzling and boozehounding are one thing.

But plagiarism??!! That's just wrong!

Posted by: Dan S. at February 10, 2007 12:18 AM

"seven-seven and semen" is all the rage in LA so I hear.

Posted by: Stephen at February 18, 2007 02:13 PM
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