October 18, 2006

Your Internet Guide To Political Name-Calling

If there's one thing Al Gore invented the Internet for, it was Internet porn. If there's ANOTHER thing Al Gore invented the Internet for, it was meaningless political bickering. Over the years, we've witnessed hordes of bored workplace and college slackers spouting their political opinions and aligning themselves with the Right and Left like protons and electrons.

As a side-effect of all this political alignment, we've also seen the emergence of newfangled political name-calling, a development that has grown so confusing, I've decided to take it upon myself to build a compendium of these degrading political barbs. Let's begin, shall we?

Rethuglicans -- Simply play with the word "Republicans," and you can come up with a plethora of demeaning terms. Rethuglicans is in popular use right now, as it conjures images of baseball bat weilding, dark alley lurking, mid-level enforcers of the conservative creed.

Democraps -- When you first hear this term, you may think it refers to show floor model feces. Well, you'd be wrong! This demeaning political term is meant to highlight how Democrats are poopy heads, or something like that. So long as you somehow come away equating Democrats with dung, this term has served its purpose.

Wingnuts -- This dastardly cruel zinger is aimed at anyone who leans right of center. Whereas this term was once used to define useful threaded nut-like metal fasteners--or being slightly grazed across the testicles--this term is now the de facto standard by which to refer to right-thinking individuals.

Moonbats -- If "Wingnuts" were matter, "Moonbats" would be its anti-matter. Do you tend to think left of center? Well, congratulations! You're a raving moonbat! This knock out slam immediately writes off any leftist dogma as the domain of the howlingly insane. For a visual representation of moonbats, please see this image.

Repugs -- This isn't a new breed of an ugly dog. No, this is the popular way to express how you think Republicans are. . . REPUGNANT! Now you, too, can express your disdain for the conservative platform with just two simple syllables! It's that easy! And it's FREE!

Libtards -- True, this would make a great name for a candy, but it's also the Web-based term for labeling the liberal agenda as debilitatingly stupid. Are you for universal healthcare through a revamped socialist-style tax code? Hey! You! Don't be such a libtard!

There's much, much more available on the Web. This is just a sampling. But, I feel it's a pretty representative sampling.

Posted by Ryan at October 18, 2006 10:07 AM | TrackBack

Sometimes it gets confusing when members of one camp attempts to characterize the other by associating them with some really embarassing insulting catchphrase. So, for instance, my brother (who is edging further and further rightward as he gets older and wealthier) wrote me an email where he made reference to "the Chimpy McBushitler crowd" and it left me scratching my head until I realized he meant people like me, even though I've never used that phrase and never would because it's fucking stupid.

However, I am fine with being described as any of the following: Tree Hugger. Molly-coddler. Bleeding heart. Tinfoil Hat-wearer. Moon-battery (it stores the power of the moon! It's a moon-battery!) Flip-flopper. Hair farmer. Twizzler. Cow-tipper.

Posted by: flamingbanjo at October 18, 2006 10:53 AM

Crap, I was going to add "Tinfoil Hat Wearer" to this list and forgot. Maybe I'll find time later today.

Moon-Battery is funny. Never heard that one before.

Posted by: Ryan at October 18, 2006 11:02 AM

flaming: dude, you wish Molly would let you coddle her.

Ryan: another favorite of mine is "right-tard". I've never used it, but it always amuses me when I see it in the blogosphere.

Posted by: Joshua at October 18, 2006 04:04 PM

Actually, given current usage, perhaps "mullah-coddler" would be more appropriate.

Posted by: flamingbanjo at October 18, 2006 05:21 PM

Wait, you mean calling each names and shouting isn't a good way to arrive at the best policy and government of the people and for the people?


I actually like to use "Sheeple" quite alot.

Posted by: Johnny at October 18, 2006 10:26 PM

Johnny, as I've said in this blo . . um . . chunderjournal before, only sheep need a shepherd.

Your average non-gender-affiliated person in the street follows politics in the same way as they follow sport. It's their team, and it doesn't matter what they do as long as they win. Of course it's a real problem for people who take the time to follow the issues, only to find themselves outvoted by people who didn't know it wasn't pronounced 'nucular'.

Posted by: simon at October 19, 2006 05:58 AM


*pausing over the "ban" button*



*letting it go. . . for now*

Posted by: Ryan at October 19, 2006 08:20 AM

You forgot ugly, lazy, and disrespectful.

Posted by: DG at October 19, 2006 10:54 AM
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