August 03, 2006

Idiot

This person is an idiot. There are other idiots like this idiot, but I'll focus my ire on only this idiot for now.

Violent video games: Not for kids of any age

Which begs the question: at what age do kids become. . . not kids? According to this idiot: NEVER!

U.S. District Judge James Rosenbaum has ruled that "the state failed to show that the graphic video games were harmful to children" (Star Tribune, Aug. 1).

That's because District Judge James Rosenbaum is NOT an idiot. Whereas you, sir, ARE an idiot. It's an important distinction.

I don't like video games and think they are just a bunch of trash that doesn't build up anyone's mind, character or morals.

Really? Did you grow up playing, say, The Oregon Trail? Have you ever actually sat down and marvelled at the sheer volume of mythological images and themes referenced in a LOT of video games? Have you ever played some of the first person perspective games that challenge the hell out of you to navigate incredibly complex maps and puzzles? I dare you, idiot, to pick up a joystick and try to solve the complexities of Myst and its derivatives. Do that and come back and tell me video games don't build your fucking mind. Myst kept me up nights it was so irritatingly complex. Of course, an idiot like you would see Myst on screen and sneer dismissively in a predictively idiot way, you fucking idiot.

However, I don't understand why so many adults think they can accept and handle video and other images that are supposedly harmful to children.

Hey, idiot, supposedly harmful does NOT = HARMFUL. There is, literally, tons of shit that's supposedly harmful to children, but hasn't been proven to be harmful, as District Judge James Rosenbaum so helpfully explained, because, as stated, District Judge James Rosenbaum is not a world-class idiot, like yourself.

What makes adults think they are less vulnerable to corrupt or violent images than children?

JOHN K. BISPALA, MINNEAPOLIS

This is the most idiotic statement of this idiot's idiotic letter. But what the hell, I'll take a stab at it.

Dear idiot:

What makes me, an adult, think I'm not vulnerable to corrupt or violent images? Hmmm, let me think. Well, for starters, I know that, if I'm horribly wounded by a rocket propelled grenade launched by a dessicated corpse in Area 51, chances are I probably won't be healed by a magically hovering health cube. I also know that, if I were to open fire with an incredibly heavy chain gun in some office somewhere, I'd probably do pretty extensive damage, rather than just blowing out windows and a random desk chair, while the pencil sharpener JUST WON'T DIE! But, mostly, idiot, I know that, when I put in a game cartridge, or fire up a computer CD or DVD, and press the power or click "Play Game," I know that I'm playing a fucking GAME, you fucking cock knob. And, when I'm done playing said game, I know that I won't feel compelled to slap a magazine of bullets in my Glock and take out a few neighbors. Yes, there may be, out of the millions and millions and millions and millions of people who play video games, a few who can't separate fantasy from reality. But, you know what? If they didn't have video games to feed their psychosis, they'd just find some other outlet like, say, role playing board games, to fuel themselves until they snap. Perhaps you'd like to ban board games? While you're at it, movies too, perhaps. And when all is said and done, when video games and board games and violent movies and television are all gone, and the only images floating around are those of Care Bears and Smurfs (no Gargamel or Azrael, as per your idiotic dictate), and the next round of violence breaks out somewhere in America, I'm sure you, dear idiot, will be right there with your next theory of the ROOTS OF CORRUPTION and VIOLENCE.

For the record, idiot, I grew up on video games, video games that were then, like now, deemed excessively violent. Yet, strangely, I have never harbored the desire to kill ANYONE. Oh, sure, I've gotten into the occasional scrap or two, but they were mostly due to me hitting on the wrong woman at a bar when their boyfriend was standing behind me. I can assure you, idiot, that the ass whuppings I received on those occasions had very little to do with my childhood history of playing Atari Battle Tank or Ninja Gaiden, and everything to do with bad timing and worse judgement.

So, in conclusion: you are an idiot. Go forth and figure out how best to become not an idiot. That is all.

With apologies to the Kool Aid Report for intruding on their usual crusade against stupid letters to the editor.

Dark Knight. Heath Ledger. Batman. The Joker. Dark Knight. Heath Ledger. Batman. The Joker. Dark Knight. Heath Ledger. Batman. The Joker.

Posted by Ryan at August 3, 2006 09:11 AM | TrackBack
Comments

When I died on Oregon trail, my epitaph always read
"here lies Donna dead and stinky,
shouldn't have played with mrs winky."
Never tried to kill anybody either, but this does not mean that I haven't a list.
Seriously, a kid that thinks that real life is like a video game has other problems than just playing too much.
And Myst? Hated it, drove me nuts, but I tell you the only one that really ate at me in any way, was blackstone chronicals. YOu had to save the kid, hidden in the insane asylum, and periodically he'd be shown in a dungeon of some kind crying and shit, and wanting help, that was some ugly.

Posted by: DONNA at August 3, 2006 06:09 PM

Sorry, my point that I forgot to include is that I hate how everyone else knows what is best for me. And everyone else.

Posted by: DONNA at August 3, 2006 06:11 PM

It is one of things I can never understand ... how people can think that way. It's so illogical that it can only be based upon moronity.

Posted by: Lineg3n1us at April 9, 2008 04:08 AM
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