January 13, 2006


IBM is a funny company. In order to enter the building complex here in Rochester, I have to swipe my security badge through one of the complex's many badge readers. Additionally, there are badge readers all over the place inside the complex as well, limiting access according to the sensitivity of the projects being worked on in any given area. There are, for example, areas around here where my badge simply will not work.

Well, IBM is also a stickler about not allowing piggy-backing, or the practice of following someone else through a door after they've swiped their badge. There are all sorts of reasons why someone would piggy-back, and most of those reasons have to do with the person accidently leaving their badge in the building. Getting in without a badge requires a call to security and about a 20 minute wait for that whole process, so piggy-backing is more than just a little bit common.

Some people, however, are complete dinks about piggy-backing. They wouldn't let you piggy-back if the building was on fire. They want to see you badge in, damnit. They don't care if you're carrying food from the cafeteria or an armload of magazines: they want you to badge in no matter what.

But here's the funny thing. There's a badge reader not far from where I sit that is also right next to these big double doors meant for vehicle traffic like fork-lifts and scooters and these types of "garbage trains." Plastered on those double doors is a yellow sticker that reads "For vehicle entry only," which is basically telling us bi-pedal suckers that we have to use the door with the badge reader.

But, here's the deal. . . those big freakin' double doors? Those doors that lead to the exact same area that the badge reader door leads? They don't lock. In fact, it only takes a soft push on them and they swing wide open. The only thing keeping us pedestrians from using those big honking doors is a yellow freakin' sticker.

I mean, those badge readers can't be entirely cheap, right? They have to cost SOMETHING. Certainly more than a yellow sticker.

Anyway, a couple weeks ago, as I was returning from the cafeteria with one hand full of food in a styrofoam container, and the other hand full with a Diet Pepsi and a milk, I thought I was fortunate as I came to the badge reader right as some guy in front of me badged in. My intent to piggy-back was thwarted, however, when the jerk told me I had to badge in.

"No problem," I said, and then I proceeded over to the double doors, and pushed them open with my butt and walked past that little prick.

"You're not supposed to do that!"

"I know, but. . . meh."

I really thought I was going to be reported or something, but that's the last I heard about it.

Posted by Ryan at January 13, 2006 11:59 AM | TrackBack

"the other hand full with a Diet Pepsi and a milk, "

that almost made the throw up a little.

Posted by: amy.leblanc at January 13, 2006 12:38 PM

"I'm a loner, Dottie. A rebel."

Posted by: Keith at January 13, 2006 12:58 PM

Oh, amy, it's not like I mixed them or anything. Milk with lunch. Diet Pepsi for about half hour after lunch.

Posted by: Ryan at January 13, 2006 01:26 PM

Sure you weren't mixing them.

Anyway, haven't you heard the old saying?

Soda before Milk, you're smooth as silk
Milk before Soda, you're Abe Vagoda.

Posted by: DG at January 13, 2006 08:06 PM

I take it, DG, that you're a Farker?

Posted by: Ryan at January 13, 2006 11:34 PM


Ryan: 1
The System: 0

Posted by: Desult at January 14, 2006 12:17 PM

Its little acts of disobedience like this that hold the machine at bay.

Posted by: Tim at January 14, 2006 05:28 PM

Damn, I was hoping he was going to run through with a forklift while admonishing you about what you shoudn't do.

I hate people who cannot step outsid the rules for fear of descending into chaos.

And ewwwww, Pepsi!

Posted by: Johnny Huh? at January 16, 2006 06:43 PM

Yes, they do in fact lock. I just checked them today.

Posted by: at January 24, 2006 09:42 PM

Then that's a new change. I must go check.

Posted by: Ryan at January 25, 2006 10:31 AM

Well, it does now lock. When was that installed?

Posted by: Ryan at January 25, 2006 10:36 AM
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