October 21, 2005

Jiu-Jitsu Perils

I continue to learn more and more as I train in Brazillian Jiu-Jitsu. It's a great martial art, unlike any other martial art I've ever trained in. The training is intense, and so far I'm enjoying it.

As with any martial arts training, there are risks, but it's particularly true in Jiu-Jitsu, where your goal is to make your opponent tap out by applying a variety of particularly nasty chokes, arm bars, knee bars and other assorted submission holds that aren't all that enjoyable to be on the receiving end of.

In other words, the potential for knee injuries and other joint-specific injuries is a definite possibility, so caution is required on the part of both opponents, and so far, aside from the usual aches and pains of intense workouts, I've escaped any serious injury.

Oh, and also, a little background on Jiu-Jitsu. It's a grappling form of self-defense, which means you're inevitably going to take a shot to the testicles. You kind of put that towards the back of your mind, but you just know it's going to happen some time.

Well, on Wednesday this week, I realized there is another peril to the Jiu-Jitsu martial art.

So, I was working Jiu-Jitsu drills with a partner of a similar belt rank, Pedro. We were working a technique called the "triangle," a technique that has the potential to both choke out an opponent while also applying an arm bar. I get caught in the triangle during live sparring so much, I'm thinking of lobbying to have the technique name changed to the "Rhodes."

Anyway, the triangle involves one person basically scissoring their opponent's head and arm between their legs and applying more and more pressure until the unfortunate recipient (usually me) starts to lose blood flow to the head, and also can't breathe. It's not a particuarly pleasant technique to get caught in.

Well, while Pedro and I were drilling the triangle, Pedro abruptly moved away and gently clutched his gut. I thought he had strained an abdominal muscle or something, not uncommon. Pedro mumbled something about eating spicy food prior to class and was experiencing stomach pains as a result of so much activity. He clutched his gut for a few seconds more and then returned to continue drilling the triangle.

And it was then, with my head locked in Pedro's legs, that I realized Pedro had released one of the most toxic blasts of flatulence to be unleashed by a living creature since brontosaurus walked the earth.

It was a horrifying odor, like something long since dead had decided to issue forth one last gasp of decaying smell. And there I was, trapped, my nose mere inches from the sphincter from whence that foul air had escaped.

And Pedro just laughed. He laughed, and continued to apply pressure to the triangle technique, drawing my head even closer to that stinking Sarlacc pit of his.

And then, mercifully, Pedro relinquished his hold on me, and I scuttered away to a safe distance, where I gulped down as much clean air as my lungs would allow.

And Pedro just continued to laugh.

So, I guess my point -- not that I really have one -- is, DON'T VOTE FOR PEDRO. Vote for Summer.

Posted by Ryan at October 21, 2005 09:59 AM | TrackBack

Dude, that is so your karma.

Posted by: Joshua at October 21, 2005 11:13 AM

Ok, so I laughed at your misfortune, but Pedro is evil incarnate..... I never wrestled, but doesn't that violate some unwritten rule and require payment of compensatory damages? or perhaps retaliation?

Posted by: MojoMark at October 21, 2005 01:30 PM

You had a shit-post and now a fart-post in the past 2 weeks. If you can post about piss, sweat, vomit, blood, jizz, pus, snot, tears, spit, menstruation and lactation, you could be the first entire-bodily-function blogger!

Go for it!

Posted by: Rob@L&R at October 24, 2005 12:59 PM
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