September 07, 2005

Introducing: Marker Farts

I'm letting marker farts right now.

"Marker farts?" you ask.

"Yes, marker farts," I answer.

"Well, what are marker farts, Rhodes?"

Glad you asked. Marker farts are farts you stealthily pass while in your office. You can do that because you have no officemate to worry about today. Unfortunately, the farts you're letting are so unspeakably foul, you start to worry about other co-workers coming into your office.

So, to mask the offensive air biscuits, you pop the cap off a Sanford brand KING SIZE permanent marker and wave it around in the air so its inky, alcohol stench blends with your anal emissions to make an odd-smelling air blend that doesn't quite smell like ass, but it doesn't quite smell like marker, either.

Hence, marker farts.

Of course, they could be marker farts in an entirely different way, but I have to wait until I get home to check that.

Thank you for reading this installment of Rambling Rhodes Potty Talk.

Posted by Ryan at September 7, 2005 04:01 PM | TrackBack

When I was in H.S. I had a friend who would let out silent farts and then raise his hand to get the teacher to come over and help him with a problem just to see how she would react.

Posted by: Tony B at September 7, 2005 04:43 PM

Is it one of those thick silver MAGNUM markers? I think those are by Sanford. I have one on my desk and it is deadly.

Oddly enough, I received it by mistake a couple of years ago when I ordered a calculator. The supply vendor just let me keep it for free since it's so freaking cheap.

Posted by: Dave in Pgh. at September 7, 2005 07:18 PM

A lot of people use air freshener. They obviously lack imagination.

Posted by: Jim at September 8, 2005 01:37 PM

In my case, I lacked air freshener, so I had to fall back on imagination.

Besides "Air Freshener Farts" just doesn't have the same ring to it.

Posted by: Ryan at September 8, 2005 02:14 PM
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