February 24, 2005

Mayo Talk

Ryan says: So, I buy this big honking sub sandwich at the cafeteria.

Ryan says: I check under the hood, so to speak, and verify that it does, indeed, have mayonaisse on it.

Ryan says: No problem, I think. I just won't eat the top bread.

Ryan says: I get it back to the office and, just out of curiosity, I check the bottom slice of bread.

Ryan says: There's more freakin' mayo on the bottom than on the top.

Ryan says: Entire sandwich. Ruined.

Evelyn says: Have you ever heard of a knife?

Evelyn says: They can be used to scrape things off bread you know.

Ryan says: You can't knife mayo off of shredded lettuce.

Evelyn says: Ditch the lettuce

Ryan says: The mayo had squished its way onto all the sandwich fixings. Nothing was spared.

Ryan says: Sandwich goes into trash. Ryan goes hungry.

Evelyn says: Oh for crying out loud. You know whtat I'd tell Holden at this point?

Ryan says: Do I look like Holden?

Evelyn says: No, but there are similiarities.

Ryan says: Yeah, we both disagree with you.

Evelyn says: that's one

Ryan says: Difference is, I'm 29 and outside of your jurisdiction.

Evelyn says: Not really.

Ryan says: If you took employment action on me because of me ditching a mayo-infused sandwich, I'd have to develop an entirely different viewpoint about you.

Evelyn says: Really, you think that's outside the confines of our business relationship, huh?

Ryan says: I'd have to check the employment contract, but I tend to think the law's on my side here.

Evelyn says: Yeah, you're probably right. Mayo-infusion isn't covered in the contract.

Evelyn says: You know, you can make your own sandwiches in the cafeteria.

Ryan says: Trust me. From now on, I'm going to. But the cheese was all nice and melted on the sub.

Ryan says: It was calling to me, in that sweet siren song of the sub.

Evelyn says: Life can be so challenging sometimes.

Evelyn says: You should have at least offered the sub to someone who doesn't hate mayo, like Doug.

Ryan says: I was blinded by a hungry rage. I didn't think ahead.

Evelyn says: You're funny.

Posted by Ryan at February 24, 2005 12:49 PM

I think you have some serious issues that need to be resolved.

Posted by: Bryan at February 24, 2005 02:04 PM

I hate it when they fuck up my food. They've got one thing to do. It's just a sandwich. It's not rocket science. How do they get it wrong?

Posted by: Donna at February 24, 2005 08:35 PM

Mayo is the condiment of the devil.

Posted by: Rick at February 25, 2005 09:35 AM

Mayo is fat mashed together with more fat. Its like a lard sandwich with grease on top. Nasty, wrong and not made for human consumption.

My favorite is when you say NO MAYO and they hear FIVE TIMES TOO MUCH MAYO. Do they think its funny? Man, where is the damned Sandwich Police when you need them?

Posted by: Johnny Huh? at February 28, 2005 02:26 PM
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