Do you hate your job? Do you go to work each day feeling as though you're about to waste eight or more hours of your life performing tasks that bore you to tears?
If you answered "yes" to either of those questions, then you should really consider quitting your job because, man, if you hate your job that much, you're probably not doing yourself any favors by sticking to it.
For the rest of us, who only occasionally dislike our jobs, it's helpful, once in awhile, to consider some of the other jobs out in the world today that make our jobs seem downright peachy by comparison.
Take, for example, a Sri Lankan hangman who was recently informed that, after a quiet three years of simply completing paperwork, he was going to have to start actually, well, hanging people.
According to a Dec. 20, Reuters news report out of Colombo, Sri Lanka, the country "reactivated its dormant death penalty last month after a near 30-year-lull to combat a surge in grisly crimes and contract killings, which means it is now finally time for Suranimala (the hangman) to learn the ropes."
Suranimala--a nickname he uses to keep people from learning he's a hangman--is a 24-year-old soon-to-be executioner who is, according to the article, less than ready for the grisly task at hand.
"'I have not received any training yet but I am supposed to practice with a sand bag each time before I hang someone,' he said, surrounded by dusty folders in the prison guards' office."
Imagine, for a moment: you're a condemned soul being led to the gallows. Ahead of you, you see an uncertain young man trying to loop a noose around a sandbag, only to drop the sandbag over the edge of the gallows, and it breaks open as it splats solidly on the ground below. As you reach the frazzled young man, he leans over and whispers, "Bear with me here; you're my first hanging."
Suranimala isn't the only one who is rather upset with the updated job description; his girlfriend, too, is less than enthusiastic about her significant other's new career path.
"'My girlfriend is not particularly pleased about the fact that I must hang people for a living, so she doesn't want anyone else to know about my profession,' he said. His girlfriend's parents are still in the dark."
Being a hangman who suddenly has to take part in the actual task of hanging people is an extreme example of a tough employment assignment. There are other jobs, obviously, that are far less gruesome but fraught with risk all the same.
According to a Dec. 17, Reuters news report out of Bogota, Colombia, "Colombian police seized 292 voodoo dolls but were reluctant to inspect the black, hand-sized talismans for fear of witchcraft."
I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "oh, come on; there's no such thing as witchcraft." Normally, I would agree with that. However, Highway Police Capt. Gerson Fajardo makes a compelling argument that might just change your attitude about witchcraft. I know he made ME think twice.
"'Witches don't exist, but if they do, they do,' Fajardo explained in a local newspaper interview published on Thursday."
It is not illegal to transport or sell voodoo dolls in Colombia, but the seizure of the dolls was defended by none other than police intelligence officer and witchcraft expert Rolando Silva, who said "it was a measure to protect the moral conduct and the good habits of the people."
So, there you have it, two jobs that are, quite decidedly, worse than anything you or I probably do for a living. And, apparently, there's an exploding market for witches, of which I was not aware.
So, if you happen to be a certain Sri Lankan hangman looking for a different job, you should know that "Suranimala" would be a super cool name for a witch, even though they don't exist.
But (and I have this on good authority), if they do, they do.
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Posted by Ryan at December 21, 2004 01:33 PMre: witchcraft / voodoo.
i'm a proponent of wicca in it's traditional sense, as it's a very grounding and beautiful practice, and voodoo also has it's merits, mostly since it's all about superstition, scaring people into thinking they've got something coming to them so they change their ways, but nothing ever really happening. however, "witchcraft" is an entirely different deal.
the book i recently finished -"The #1 Ladies Detective Agency" - is about a woman in Botswana who starts offering her services to the community to do things like rat out cheating husbands and those doing insurance fraud. however, the main case of the story is that a young boy goes missing and the family wants to find him. "we all know why young boys go missing" is the general sentiment, and everyone is afraid to get involved in the investigation. at some point a bone is found in a velvet pouch in the glovebox of a very high official's car. the bone belongs to a young boy. the local witchcraft/voodoo traditions include killing young boys and "stealing" their virility. it's a very real practice in parts of the world, and sick.
it's unfortunate that "witchcraft" with "wicca" both label those who practice "witch" (although some use "priestess"), because they are very, very different practices.
that said, i'm very thankful for my job this year. while i do spend a lot of days doing crap i don't care about, i (obviously) also spend a lot of time doing my own thing online, and am treated well. i hope no one ever asks me to execute anyone, although my coworker keeps bugging me to set mouse traps and i simply will no do it. mice are cute.
Posted by: leblanc at December 23, 2004 12:50 PMOf course there was kind of a comparable surprise for a lot of people in the military. You know: people who basically joined the Boy Scouts for 4 years to pay for college and then after September 11th they were suddenly expected to go to a foreign country and kill people.
It's one of the reasons I could never quite bring myself to join, even to pay for college: I went back through recent history and tried to find a 4 year period where no reserves were called up. The results weren't terribly encouraging.
ps- on the witchcraft/wicca thing.
I always find it ironic that a country where the majority of people believe that the Bible describes actual supernatural events up to and including the parting of the Red Sea can be so unqualified in their skepticism about other metaphysical traditions.
Posted by: Joshua at December 23, 2004 01:46 PM
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