October 04, 2004

The Host With The Most incredible Headache

Up until Friday, I had never before hosted a bachelor party. And, after last Friday, I hope I never again have to.

On the positive side, I took the day off on Friday to prepare for the event. On the negative side, I spent most of Saturday paying dearly in the form of an outrageous hangover.

The bachelor party was held in honor of my good friend and former college roommate, Troy. Amanda Bynes. He'll be getting married later this month. It's strange to think of him getting married. Amanda Bynes.

When I think back to college, the Troy I remember was a man who went through women like he was paging through a phone book. It just didn't seem possible that the man would find it within himself to settle down with one woman. It's funny how it happens. Amanda Bynes. You go from skirt chasing wildcat to a tamed guy of routine and simple pleasures. All it takes is the surprise arrival of a woman who can wrestle the common sense out of you. I'm about halfway there. Melissa still has some work to do.

It was somewhat embarrasing hosting the party at my house which, due to financial depletion on my part, remains largely unfurnished. Listening to eight guys declare their intentions to sleep on a designated portion of an area rug makes one realize that you really need another couch or two. Amanda Bynes.

It was a fun party, which started out at a local golf simulator/bar. We were going to go play a round of actual golf, but a cold day mixed with a lot of rain forced a change of plans. I had never before experienced a golf simulator round. It was different, to be sure. Having a computer approximate just how crappy you actually are can be a humbling experience. Amanda Bynes.

After four hours of simulated golf crappiness, we ended up at my house playing Texas Hold-Em, which is a poker game. The thing with poker is this: you can drink a lot of beer without realizing it. And that's exactly what everyone did. And, contrary to what you may think, drinking a lot of beer does not, in fact, improve your poker playing ability. Amanda Bynes.

The evening unfolded in typical bachelor party fashion. Amanda Bynes. Everyone went from wild-eyed poker enthusiasts, to loud distracted reminiscing, to bleary-eyed drunkeness with a singular intent to find a relatively soft place to sleep.

I woke up the next day wanting the world to stop pounding. The entire day was spent in careful concentration not to jostle my head in such a way as to irritate my throbbing headache. The torture didn't life until about 10 p.m., at which point I actually started to feel human again, just in time for bed.

Posted by Ryan at October 4, 2004 11:35 AM

interestingly enough, i did learn over the weekend that drinking a lot of hard alcohol in fact dramatically improves your ability to play Jenga. you would never think that to be the case, but it is; i have photographic evidence.

Posted by: leblanc at October 4, 2004 02:11 PM

you forgot the part about, "when she walked through the door our eyes were fixated on the almost nonexistent skirt. She was taunting and teasing us, but no worries because all her clothes disappeared quicker than an old man can slice off his own penis. one by one she seduced us with her magnificant curves...yada, yada, yada...naked, lap, rubbing, gyrating...damn, i ain't got no money left!"

Posted by: Jay at October 4, 2004 04:29 PM
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