September 24, 2004


Ever since I was moved back to the main IBM blue buildings, the building in which I'm located has been undergoing considerable remodelling. The one thing I've most been anticipating is the completion of the big bathroom facility.

Well, the bathroom has actually been done for a couple weeks now, but for some reason the janitorial staff simply hasn't gotten around to stocking it with toilet paper or paper towels, which of course means that taking a number two is out of the question.

Thing is, I really wanted to use the new bathroom stalls. They're clean, and the doors are intact, and the toilets automatically flush when you're done. It's like a bathroom amusement park, and I wanted to be one of the first to ride the new rollercoaster, or use the new shitters, as the case may be.

Today, I had had it. I was going to be the first to use those damned toilets, no matter what. So, I went to a different bathroom upstairs, unspooled about 30 feet of toilet paper (better to be safe than sorry, you know), tucked the pilfered paper under my armpits, and went back downstairs to use the new bathroom.

It was, shall we say. . . glorious. I was a king! I sat enthroned within my steel enclosure, secure in the knowledge that none had sat there before me. From this day on, let it be known that I was the first to perform bowel cleansing functions in the new IBM bathroom!

I was number one to take a number two!!

But, that automatic flusher kind of spooked me a little bit.

Posted by Ryan at September 24, 2004 02:49 PM


I shudder to think of what the trophy for this fine honour would look like :-)

Posted by: Ryan Schultz (Quiplash) at September 25, 2004 12:48 AM

You were first, providing that virgin wasn't despoiled by an ass with the same inclination as you and a bit less patience.

How long were they serviceable but unsupplied?

Posted by: Jim at September 25, 2004 01:01 AM

Ahhhhhh, my nose, it burns! The gas mask is doing nothin'!

At least you didn't have to worry about some wanker coming in and starting a conversation with you!

Posted by: Johnny Huh? at September 27, 2004 11:10 AM
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