September 01, 2004

Scritchy Scratchy

Soooooo, you know how, awhile back, I wrote about how I shaved my arm pit hair down to a more manageable level?

And remember how I jokingly said I planned to conduct similar grooming operations on more private areas?

Welllllll. . .

Last weekend, the girlfriend showed up at my house after a visit to a local salon, where she also, unbeknownst to me, got a wax job, which was a great and happy surprise, let me tell you.

So, we were sitting around, and she started giving me crap about how I never did any grooming down around my area. Thus the gauntlet had been thrown down.

I went to the bathroom, fired up the clippers, and proceeded to go all Jason Biggs-American Wedding on my pelvic region. I should note here that, even though I laughed hysterically during that scene in American Wedding, I had no idea how true to reality it all was, except I didn't get my hairs stuck to a wedding cake or anything like that.

Still, today, I'm on day three of itching like crazy down there. I can't believe how much of a protest returning pubic hairs put on. It's like I'm being punished for something.

However, I'm told that it looks good down there, so there's that.

And yes, I know, you people are probably all grossed out by this. Now, if Plain Layne had written something like this, everyone would be turned on and commenting ferociously.

Admit it.

Posted by Ryan at September 1, 2004 02:02 PM

does anybody else enjoy the feeling of hair-clippers on the back of one's neck? Bzzzzzzzz…"ahhhhhhhh, more. that's the ticket." (BTW, long-finger tipped hotties aren't bad either.)

so, ryan, did you giggle during the proceedure?

Posted by: seed at September 1, 2004 02:14 PM

Actually, I didn't giggle at all when I was working around the sac. That was some serious work right there.

Posted by: Ryan at September 1, 2004 02:36 PM

Except in PL it would be an ugly wanker faking it.

Want some advice for the next time? Don't use electric, take a bath and use a regular twin or triple blade razor, works much better. But take your time, those are blades near your family jewels!

Lucky you've got a new office and can scratch as needed.

And Dr. Evil had it right, it is kind of breathtaking in a Me-So-Naughty-(And Horny!)-Way. At least you didn't post a pic, the pedo police would have swooped in on ya!

Posted by: Johnny Huh? at September 1, 2004 04:20 PM

Yeah but on PL, she had designs and stuff.
In all my years of getting laid, which have been long and varied, I've never seen a guy shaved. The thoughts of testicles, naked ones, bouncing around all happy, kinda cracks me up.
So did the GF like it? I can see some oral type benefits, but when it started growing out, it seems like it would be pokey. My hubby would never let me go there.

Posted by: Donna at September 1, 2004 07:25 PM

Unless you're devoted to the smooth shaved feel, I highly recommend trimming not shaving. A good beard trimmer works wonders down under - close but without the growing back hell.

Posted by: Beth at September 1, 2004 08:45 PM

man, ryan sure has much better traffic here. excuse me.

Posted by: seed at September 2, 2004 12:55 AM

For guys, I also recommend trimming instead of shaving down there.

And Ryan, what did the girl think of the waxing? My boy would like me to get one but I am hesitant to let someone pour hot wax on the private areas.

Posted by: Mandy at September 3, 2004 08:52 AM

Mandy, this is Mel's second time getting a wax job. She says it definitely hurts, but only briefly, and then it's sensitive down there for about a day, maybe two. From then on, for about three months, however, she says everything just feels better, and that sex is more enjoyable. Results, of course, may vary, but she likes her results.

Posted by: Ryan at September 3, 2004 09:22 AM
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