July 12, 2004

Just So You Know

If this happens, I will officially announce my affiliation with the far-leaning Leftists and will renounce any defense I've ever offered up to the Bush Administration.

That is all.

UPDATE: A less knee-jerk reaction can be found here.

UPDATE II: We're now taking votes, apparently, for the best person to act in the role of Dictator Of The United States.

So far, Vin Diesel and The Rock have been postulated, as has J.J. Jameson, from Spiderman 2. As a corollary to that, pornstar Jenna Jameson kinda, sorta got a vote although, personally, I don't think she'd be a very decisive dictator. Finally, we have a vote for William Shatner, which I think would be a bad idea because, as we all know, Shatner would take us to war simply to further enrich his cronies over at Priceline.com.

Myself, I think John Cusack would make a wicked cool dictator, although we shouldn't rule out Kathy Bates because, honestly, the world would be scared crapless if she were dictator.

Any other suggestions?

Posted by Ryan at July 12, 2004 10:07 AM

This whole election thing just annoys the piss out of me. I say screw the elections. Someone needs to step up and just declare themselves dictator of the US. It should be someone badass, like Vin Diesel or The Rock. I'd totally believe in a country lead by someone that could single-handedly beat me to within inches of my life in about 8 seconds. No one would fuck with the US then.....

Posted by: Rick at July 12, 2004 11:21 AM

You can't have Vin Diesel as president, because then it would Obviously be all about the OOOIIIIILLLLLLL!

Posted by: Ryan at July 12, 2004 11:40 AM

I think J.J. Jameson from Spiderman 2 should be president. I like his style. He'd never be one to let the facts get in the way, much less these "elections" you speak of.

Posted by: moving_comfort at July 12, 2004 01:05 PM

at a quick glance i thought i saw j. jameson, as in jenna. that would really change the dynamics of geopolitics.

Posted by: seed at July 12, 2004 01:30 PM

Oh good, I wasn't imagining it.

I saw this on the front page of the Seattle times this morning, but when I got to work and went looking for it to link to the story from the Red Pages I couldn't find it anywhere on their website.

My vote for dictator: William Shatner. I know it dates me, but that's my take and I'm standing by it.

Posted by: Joshua at July 12, 2004 02:15 PM

Hey Ryan, I'm with ya on the Cusack for Dictator campaign. Although I have a feeling he won't go for the idea since he asked to have the Cusack for President site shut down. And I never ordered my tee-shirt! Bummer.

Posted by: Jen at July 12, 2004 03:49 PM

c'mon, jenna would be a smashing success at the bargaining table. half of the diplomats at the UN would give in to anything to get a piece of her, and the other half would watch.

suppose we want to bend-over for france and germany—no problem. done. he stance on gay marriage is pretty well known. she's an accomplished multi-tasker and is definitely willing to go the extra mile.

(my apologies for bringing the discussion into gutter.)

Posted by: seed at July 12, 2004 04:08 PM

seed, this blog has been pretty much in the gutter since its inception. Your comments improve the quality of discourse exchanged here, if anything.

Perhaps we need to refine this discussion to find out who the best PORNSTAR DICTATOR would be. Jenna Jameson's fading fast with every new piercing and tattoo. She's old news, ready for the dumpster out back, though I'd still slide one her way before the truck carts her off to the landfill.

April Summers is still a viable candidate. Brittany Cage would be great, although I don't think she's yet a pornstar by definition. Mary Carey has had experience running for California office, so I think she'd make a fine dick taster, er, dictator. Ooh, ooh, I know! Monica Mayhem. Yes, Monica Mayhem for dictator!

Posted by: Ryan at July 12, 2004 04:21 PM

it appears my familiarity with the field needs some work. each candidate you mentioned needs further research on my part. on the other hand, prior experience is something to consider. chasey laine also comes to mind, fondly.

excuse me for a minute…

Posted by: seed at July 12, 2004 05:02 PM

I worked with Jenna and a few other adult actresses in a post production house I used to edit at for a few months and out of all of them...she was the smartest...which ain't sayin' much...

I vote the old MTV VJ Adam Curry for dictator. It's the hair...that long blonde mane makes me trust him to lead a nation. I don't know why....

Posted by: Lily at July 12, 2004 05:02 PM

Damn you guys, didn't anyone think of Nicholson? "YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!" or
Think about it. Um hum. Nicholson. Yeah.

Posted by: Donna at July 12, 2004 09:55 PM

I think Ted Nugent would be a cool dictator. Then we would have no more hippies in the US.

Posted by: Machelle at July 13, 2004 09:09 AM

Cristopher Walken.

Posted by: David Grenier at July 13, 2004 11:29 AM

Oooh, yeah, I forgot about Walken.

Posted by: Ryan at July 13, 2004 11:43 AM

Then you shall be destroyed.

Posted by: David Grenier at July 13, 2004 12:27 PM

Walken would be good, but i think it should be a Black Jewish Puerto Rican Woman just to really piss everyone off:

otherwise, i'm voting for Johnny Depp.

Posted by: leblanc at July 13, 2004 05:27 PM

I just had this image and cracked up: How about, as president, one of those screaming, really fast zombie guys from 28 Days Later?

Everytime someone would walk into the Oval Office he'd come running at them top-speed, squealing, blood coming out of his eyes. They'd have to get out and close the door really fast. Cabinet meetings would be interesting. Press conferences might be filled with hilarious faux paus, like Andrea Mitchel getting her scalp torn off.

Posted by: moving_comfort at July 14, 2004 10:11 AM
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