June 28, 2004

Media Upset Over Early Iraq Handover

Media Outlets Had Next Two Days Mapped Out; Now Everything's fucked Up

WASHINGTON D.C. (Rhodes Media Services) -- Media organizations worldwide were thrown into a maelstrom after a surprise move by the U.S.-led coalition that turned over sovereignty to Iraq a full two days ahead of schedule.

Newsrooms, which had a stockpile of stories built up, ensuring the next two days would be filled with introspective analysis, criticism and foreboding prognostication, were thrown into a tailspin of journalistic "catch-up" following the surprise handover.

"Sonofabitch," said ABC News anchorman Sam Donaldson. "Here I had a two-part expose all ready on how everything that has been done in Iraq has been totally wrong, complete with unscientific graphs and everything, and now that's in danger of being scrapped entirely. This just really chaps my ass."

Katie Couric, taking a break from her crusade to encourage everyone in the world to get a colonoscopy, expressed her own frustration with the early power transfer.

"This is just another classic example of the Bush administration misleading people," said the one-time-cute-but-increasingly-sanctimonious Couric. "And just think of how this messes with the terrorist plans to upset the power transfer. The car-bombings and beheadings alone would have ensured a busy news desk for at least the next week, but now nothing is certain. Damn it! Be sure to schedule a colonoscopy today!"

UPDATE: Heh. Maybe this entry was more than parody after all. Looks like Tom Brokaw will have some time to sight-see. (via Instapundit).

Posted by Ryan at June 28, 2004 10:00 AM


Posted by: Jay at June 28, 2004 10:09 AM

Yeah, but don't worry, there should be a third celebrity death soon so they can go back to their stockpiled stories on The Life Of X.

Lets just hope its not Clint Eastwood.

Posted by: David Grenier at June 28, 2004 11:11 AM

I actually think that, on the face of it, this might have been the smartest thing the US has done in Iraq in a very long time.

Reminds me of snowball fights with my dad where he'd loft a snowball up high and then try to nail you with another one while you were busy looking up at the other one.

Posted by: Johnny Huh? at June 28, 2004 11:44 AM

Oooh! Nicely done!

Posted by: Emma at June 28, 2004 12:18 PM
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