I'm addicted to fireworks. I've been addicted to fireworks since before I was conceived. If a firecracker or bottle rocket had somehow managed to make it into my mother's womb, I'm pretty sure I would have tried to find a way to light it.
I'm not sure where the fascination comes from. Goodness knows I should have been forever turned off of fireworks after I almost killed myself by blowing up a grenade in my backyard.
Still, my memories about fireworks go back so far, I'm convinced I played with sparklers in my crib. And it wasn't as if my parents encouraged my addiction, either. They went to great lengths to deny me access to fireworks. On more than one occasion, I had to stand helplessly by as my mother ran some fireworks she found of mine under the sink, rendering them useless.
However, being the resourceful youth that I was, I generally was able to go to even greater lengths than my parents. I became a master when it came to hiding and protecting my fireworks.
I eventually went so far as to lock my fireworks in a skate case, with two padlocks. And then, THEN, to make sure my brother wasn't pilfering my fireworks, I dripped wax on the skate case latches. If the wax seal was broken, it meant somebody had been tampering with my skate case. I was more paranoid than Tom Ridge when it came to my fireworks.
As any dedicated addict does, I had a "dealer." Come late May and early June, I ambled up the block with a pocketful of change to visit good old, reliable LuVerne. LuVerne always had fireworks, and he was always willing to sell his fireworks, at a substantially marked up rate, of course.
LuVerne ran his fireworks business out of a plastic red fishing tackle box. Of course, LuVerne probably had a closet full of fireworks, but he only kept a small amount in his tackle box, thus giving the impression that his supplies were limited.
I used to buy firecrackers and bottle rockets individually, at a rate of about two cents per firecracker and about a dime per bottle rocket. Occasionally, LuVerne would sneak some larger item, like a Roman candle, into his inventory, and I JUST HAD TO HAVE IT, even though it cost three dollars or more.
LuVerne operated a thriving and successful business, especially for a fifth grader. Every fireworks addict in town knew that he was the guy to go to for fireworks. Oh, sure, there were a few competitors, but LuVerne had name recognition, and the other dealers had a reputation for squealing when the heat got to be too much. LuVerne never gave away the names of his buyers. LuVerne was the MAN.
Bit by bit I'd build up my stash of fireworks, opening up my skate case from time to time to just look at them and, of course, smell them. Because, as any good fireworks addict knows, the smell of gunpowder is more enticing than a roomful of naked, horny women.
The evening of the 4th of July was when I let loose with my fireworks, along with pretty much every other kid in town who had been armed by LuVerne. In retrospect, it was kind of fascinating that, even though fireworks were illegal in Minnesota, practically everyone in town had them any way. The law just couldn't supress the innate childhood desire to blow shit up.
LuVerne died in 1989 when he fell asleep behind the wheel, drifted over the centerline, and hit a semi head on.
My love of fireworks, fortunately, did not die with him.
Posted by Ryan at June 15, 2004 11:18 AMAside from the flash, the boom and the sparkly stuff, the smell of fireworks is the best part. Cordite has that nostalgic smell of summer to me.
Lately I've been keeping a pair of the firecracker balls on my desk, you know, when you smack them together they crack like a cap or something. And it releases that wonderful scent that does a surprisingly excellent job of masking the stench that emanates from my pup's back side with much too much regularity.
Fireworks? Hell yeah! Luckily, I live in a town where they're for sale so long as you don't possess them or light them on fire, you can buy them. And yeah, I have no idea how that works, either.
Posted by: Johnny Huh? at June 15, 2004 11:42 AMRyan, you've taken a load off my mind... My younger son has been obsessed with fireworks since he was three, to the point where he goes out the day after Hallowe'en, gathers up all the empty shells he can find, brings them back home and inventories them, just for the sheer joy of it. I used to worry like heck about it, but now that I know you went through it too, I --
Omigawd...!!
(Nah, just kidding...:-) )
Posted by: Janice at June 16, 2004 12:22 AMLuckily I live really close to Mexico...they have stuff that really goes BOOM!
Of course they are illegal here but...they have to catch me first. Heh.
Posted by: Lily at June 18, 2004 09:31 AMHey! I found your blog through Heather, and was just browsing through when I noticed you mentioned Minnesota. I recently moved her with my fiance and I thought I would say "Hi" to a fellow Minnesotan?? lol I find your blog very entertaining! I hope you don't mind if I read it from time to time!
Posted by: Hollie at June 20, 2004 12:39 AMI am to obsessed with fireworks. I am now 16. None of my friends are like me. Infact I don't know anyone that is like me.
When I can I save large fountains and put them in my room to look at. I save all of my mortars from Artillery shell kits. I collect them. This year I spent $190 dollars on fireworks. Believe me if my parents would have let me spend all of my money I would have.
I can't stop staring at them. Every now and then I'll smell them. I've only tasted fireworks a few times in my life. This July 5th I talked my mom into letting me go back to the tent. She let me buy two more boxs of shells and 5 or 6 fountains and cakes.
For the last 2 years I've shot some type of firework at least once every 3 weeks. It was nothing but Bottle Rockets last year. But this year I have over 80 dollars of fireworks ...that have color.
There I go talking about fireworks. I love talking about fireworks. About once a month I'll look at fireworks online. I just...I can't stand not having ANY fireworks for another year.
My name is Blake and I am obsessed with fireworks. The first step is admitting you have a problem. I am not admitting I have a problem though because I do not.
My father spends at least 5 hours a day on Ebay just looking at boats, tillers, lawn mowers, and anything else with a motor. My mother loves flowers. For 2 months I helped her plant bulbs and flowers every night for and hour or two.
I think everyone has an obsession. Most people just find fireworks to be a waste of money.
"Why don't you just burn your money? Thats all your doing."
Why don't you just smoke another cigarette. Smoke another cigar. Smoke anything you want. Chew the tobacco. Will the amount of money you spend on tobacco in one year ever amount to the money I've spent on fireworks in my lifetime.
Me and my parents argue every time fireworks are in season. They think it is the biggest waste of money yet when they see the fireworks being used they love them.
I plan to be a pyrotechnician as soon as I graduate High School.
There is nothing wrong with fireworks. It is not a waste of money. Just think of all the other things people waste money on.
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