When I was growing up, perhaps 10 or 11 years of age, my mother took on a short-lived life of crime, sending offensive items through the mail to major U.S. corporations.
When I say "short-lived," I mean she only did it once, and when I say "life of crime," I mean she really didn't do it intentionally, and when I say "major U.S. corporations," I actually only mean one.
Granted, my overall memory of this incident has faded due to the passage of time and a five year stint in college when I killed a few million brain cells by ingesting copiouss amounts of beer. So, some of the details related here may not be entirely correct. But, you know, whatever.
You see, my mother used to order vitamin supplements from some huge vitamin corporation which, for the sake of simplicity, I'll call VitaCorp.
Now, my mother was a customer in good standing with VitaCorp. She would order vitamins and pay for them, and VitaCorp, in turn, would send her vitamins. It was the classic model of monetary exchange for goods and services.
Well, one time, VitaCorp messed up my mother's vitamin order and sent her a big box of vitamins my mother neither wanted or needed. My mother understood it was all just a mix-up, and she didn't think anything of it. She simply set the box of vitamins aside, intending to send them back to VitaCorp so they could rectify their error.
In a seemingly totally unrelated development at the time, spring was also thawing winter's icy grasp on Minnesota, which meant that all the fecal handiwork deposited on our yard by our dog, Ray, over the course of five months was rapidly being laid bare for all the neighbors to see. This, in turn, led to a spring cleaning of sorts during which my mother scoured the yard with newspapers, plucking the pooch piles and placing them in a box filled with a bunch of old jars that my mother intended to throw away.
Unfortunately, the box of unwanted vitamins and the box of poop, paper and jars were placed dangerously close to one another. As you may already have guessed, this was when things got interesting.
Going back to the VitaCorp delivery mix-up, my mother taped the box of vitamins back up and sent them back to the company along with a letter informing them of their error.
Time passed.
Eventually, my mother received a letter from VitaCorp that read something like this: "Mrs. Rhodes: we at VitaCorp understand that you may have been inconvenienced by the ordering error you experienced. However, we are extremely offended that you would act in such a way as to send old jars, newspapers and dog feces back to us as some sort of punishment. We are removing your name from our customer database and we refuse to do any future business with you. Sincerely, VitaCorp."
It was a classic mistake, one that I'm sure every household experiences at least once or twice. The old, "I sent dog poop through the mail by accident" tale we all know so very well.
My mother, not one to take such embarrasing incidents lightly, sat down and drafted an eloquent and empassioned plea to VitaCorp, and she desperately tried to put into words her sincerest apologies while she also tried to explain how such a gross thing could have happened by accident. It was a Herculean writing assignment, by any standard.
My mother's writing prowess must have prevailed, because she was reinstated once again as a valued, if somewhat scatterbrained, VitaCorp customer.
Which was a good thing because, as we could plainly see, my mother desperately needed vitamins for something.
Posted by Ryan at March 31, 2004 02:15 PMHehehe. That reminds me of this time that my mother...
Aw, no it doesn't. I can't come close to touching that one. "Poo Bomber". Hehehe
Posted by: Jim at March 31, 2004 02:28 PMThat's a really crappy story.
Posted by: Madfish Willie at March 31, 2004 04:55 PMLol.
Posted by: plumpernickel at April 5, 2004 03:07 PMQuite an amusing story Ryan. You should get quite a kick out of this as I distribute products for a company called Vitamark International and due to some litigation (since vindicated) was forced to change it's name for a couple of years to...you guessed it... VitaCorp! While we are again Vitamark we are still widely known by the Vitacorp name. I don't think our Customer Service folks would have been quite that abrupt with mom although they certainly would have accepted her apology as graciously. Maybe even mailed her out a free bottle of Limu Plus! :-)
Be Well,
Gery Di Marco
Below is all monet works.
Woman In A Green Dress painting
Winter At Giverny painting
View Over The Seas painting
Vetheuil In Summer painting
Vase Of Flowers painting
Train In The Country painting
The women in the Garden painting
The Valley Of Falaise painting
The Turkeys painting
The Thames And The Houses Of Parliament painting
The Studio Boat painting
The Shoot painting
The Seine Estuary At Honfleur painting
The Seine Below Rouen painting
The Seine At Rouen painting
The Seine At Lavacourt painting
The Seine At Bougival painting
The Seine At Argenteuil painting
The Seine At Argenteuil I painting
The Sea At Fecamp painting
The Road To Chailly painting
The Red Cape (Madame Monet) painting
The Red Boats painting
The Picnic painting
The Marina At Argenteuil painting
The Luncheon painting
The Ice-Floes painting
The Garden of the Princess painting
The Church Of Vernon In The Mist painting
The Church At Vetheuil painting
The Boats Regatta At Argenteuil painting
The Beach At Sainte-Adresse painting
Terrace at St Adresse painting
Sunset painting
Sunflowers painting
Sun Setting Over The Seine At Lavacourt painting
Still Life With Melon painting
Snow Effect With Setting Sun painting
Sailing At Sainte-Adresse painting
Sailing At Argenteuil painting
Rue Montargueil with Flags painting
Rough Sea At Etretat painting
Promenade Near Argenteuil painting
Poppy Field In A Hollow Near Giverny painting
Poplars painting
Pond at Montgeron painting
Palazzo da Mula at Venice painting
Monet_Self_Portrait_In_His_Atelier painting
London Houses of Parliament at Sunset painting
La Porte D Amount Etretat painting
La Japonaise painting
La Grenouillere painting
In The Woods At Giverny painting
Impression Sunrise painting
Hyde Park London painting
Haystacks at Giverny the evening sun painting
Haystacks At Chailly painting
Haystack snow effect painting
General View Of Rouen From St Catherine s Bank painting
Garden In Flower At Sainte-Adresse painting
Floating Ice Near Vetheuil painting
Cliffs Near Dieppe painting
Boulevard Des Capucines I painting
Beach at Honlfeux painting
Argenteuil painting
A Windmill at Zaandam painting
A Corner of the Studio painting
A Corner of the Apartment painting
Monet Spring Flowers painting
View At Rouelles, Le Havre painting
Camille At The Window painting
Landscape With Thunderstorm painting
Monet Purple Poppies painting
The Red Boats, Argenteuil painting
Regatta At Argenteuil painting
A Woman Reading painting
Wild Poppies, Near Argenteuil painting
Monet The Luncheon painting
Still Life Apples And Grapes painting
Springtime At Giverny painting
Apple Trees In Blossom painting
Tulip Fields With The Rijnsburg Windmill painting
Haystack at Giverny painting
Haystack At Giverny painting
In The Woods At Giverny painting
Girls In A Boat painting
Boating On The River Epte painting
In The Rowing Boat painting
The Seine At Port-Villez painting
Poplars on the Epte painting
Monet Water Lillies I painting
Monet The Waterlily Pond painting
Woman with a Parasol painting
Camille Monet in Japanese Costume painting
The garden in flower painting
The Artist Garden at Vetheuil painting
Jeanne-Marguerite Lecadre in the Garden painting
Boulevard des Capucines painting
Stumble It!
