July 10, 2002

Book Extract Removed That's right.

Book Extract Removed

That's right. I removed that last post. Why? Because, I didn't feel comfortable having that many boner references posted glaringly for all the world to see. That, and it was just too damned long. No one wants to read through that much black text splashed against a turquoise background. It hurts the eyes.
Instead. . .

A Little News of the Odd

Guilty Executives Pick Ethics Lessons over Jail

KANSAS CITY, Mo. (Reuters) - A federal judge who admits he doesn't "fool with the stock market" said he gave two executives who pleaded guilty in a fraud scheme a choice: lecture students about business ethics or go to prison.

What kind of a half-baked idea is that? That's like sending a crack head out to lecture about the dangers of drug use, or sending a KKK member out to tout racial tolerance.

"Who wants to go to jail? They were very contrite. I think they feel like this might make up for some of their lapse of good judgement," U.S. District Judge Scott Wright said on Wednesday in a telephone interview.

And what, pray tell, constitutes a lapse of judgement? Glad you asked.

Both testified against a third executive at Owl Securities & Investments who was involved in the scheme, which defrauded investors and aimed to bribe Costa Rican politicians in an effort to build a Caribbean port in the Central American country.

EXECUTIVE #1: So you see class, that part when I defrauded investors and tried to bribe Costa Rican politicians, that was wrong. Don't do that. Instead, try bribing Colombian politicians. They're much more malleable when money is involved and. . . whoops, I guess you shouldn't really do that either.

EXECUTIVE #2: Don't get us wrong, the Costa Rican port idea was a sound one. We just messed up a little when we tried to illegally use investor money to fund the project and bribe politicians. You should write that down.

Wright said the two executives would be available to lecture students from high school to law school "about what fraud and cooking the books has done to the corporate world -- people are really losing their trust."

And what better way to restore that trust than to march two corrupt executives out into the lecture circuit? I should really be a judge.

My Little Unseasonal Joke

As far as I know, this joke does not exist, although it could. It came to me yesterday when I saw a picture of Santa Claus and Rudolph online. Don't ask. Anyway. . .

Q: What do you get when you give Spanish Fly to all of Santa's reindeer?

A: You get Comet on Cupid on Donner on Blitzen on Dasher on Dancer on. . .

Hey, why aren't you laughing? That's comedy gold, people!

Posted by Ryan at July 10, 2002 11:38 PM
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