September 12, 2002

Time for a Little Bass

Time for a Little Bass Bashing

As proof that there is a pinch of justice still left in this crazy world, N' Sync singer Lance Bass is officially grounded. Cue the chorus. *hallelujia* <--Or however the heck that's spelled.

For those of you who have been living 500 feet below ground with your fingers in your ears, you may not know that there was a lot of hoopla about Lance Bass training in Star City Russia because he was scheduled to travel to the international space station during a flight this fall. The bitter pill of realization that a no-talent hack pretty boy with a name like Lance Bass (a name more suited to the fishing industry, or possibly the porn industry) was about to take my rightful place aboard the space station just couldn't be swallowed.

Therefore, it was with great pleasure that I read a article explaining that Bass was pulled from the crew roster after his backers couldn't pony up the dough to continue his training. According to the story, RadioShack was the only such sponsor to be named publicly. Procter & Gamble and a soft-drink company were said to be additional sponsors. For the record, this blogger is officially boycotting RadioShack, Proctor & Gamble and a soft-drink company of my choosing (at this moment, I'm thinking Mr. Pibb or Tab, if they still make Tab).

Don't get me wrong. I'm all for making space travel attainable by the lowly average citizen with a bankroll the size of the GNP of Sudan, but the thought of Bass, a 23-year old punk who went on record as saying that going into space would be "cool," just made my head scream. Cool? Argh!

Perhaps the best paragraph of the entire article was, It was far too late for another space passenger to fill Bass' seat. Russian space agency spokesman Sergei Gorbunov said Bass' weight allotment would be taken up by a cargo container filled with equipment for the space station. There, strapped in a seat once reserved for the pretty boy crooner, would be a package of dried fruit, a stack of porno magazines, and a few odd pieces of technology to keep the station in orbit. Now that's justice.

Also in the news, the winning lottery numbers for the New York lottery yesterday? 9-1-1. Interesting.

Posted by Ryan at September 12, 2002 12:22 PM
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