Rambling Rhodes

Serves Him Right Earlier this

Serves Him Right

Earlier this month, the now famous Qatar-based news agency Al Jazeera (roughly translated as "This Will Really Piss the Americans Off"), ran exclusive interviews with a couple of al Queda operatives who took credit for orchestrating the 9/11 attacks. Well, lo and behold, one of the operatives, Ramzi Binalshibh, was identified and captured shortly after the broadcast (hey, no one said these terrorists were smart).

BINALSHIBH: You know what sounds like a good idea? I should expose myself to the television watching world and take credit for coordinating the 9/11 attacks. Doesn't that sound brilliant? What could possibly go wrong with that? A little publicity could do wonders for our crazy-as-batshit cause. Right?

After a lengthy extradition process, Binalshibh is now on his way to U.S. custody, for what intelligence officials say will be a long, intense interrogation.

LONG, INTENSE INTERROGATION: (n) -- To have the piss literally beat out of you in the pursuit of information. To willingly spew valuable information to avoid prolonged exposure to fists and boots and truth extracting serums. To sing like a plucked canary.

Not surprisingly, given the impending interrogation awaiting him, Binalshibh has refused to admit his identity, insisting his name was Abdullah, Pakistani official said. But U.S. officials in Washington said they were convinced the man seized Wednesday — the anniversary of the Sept. 11 attacks — is Binalshibh.

BINALSHIBH: No, no, no! You have the wrong man! My name is Abdullah and I am a simple goatherder. I know nothing of the Sept. 11 attacks that killed 3,000 innocents, or how, through careful planning and disbursement of funds, our great al Queda organization was able to. . .oops, I mean. . . my many goats say "Baaaahh" when in need of water.

Our foremost gifted orator, one President George W. Bush, even chimed in to praise the capture and extradition.

"Thanks to the efforts of our folks and people in Pakistan, we captured one of the planners and organizers of the September 11 attack that murdered thousands of people, including Italians," Bush said before meeting at Camp David with Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi. Mr. Bush did not elaborate on the apparent distinction between "folks and people."

"One by one, we're hunting the killers down. We are relentless, we are strong, and we're not going to stop," Bush added. The last part of Mr. Bush's speech was reportedly inspired by one of the Borg episodes of Star Trek: The Next Generation.

Posted by Ryan at September 16, 2002 12:39 PM