December 08, 2002

Lottery Madness I have a

Lottery Madness

I have a friend, whom I'll call Marc, primarily because his name is Marc. Well, Marc has this interesting philosophy regarding the Powerball lottery institution. Marc likes Powerball, particularly because it offers the minute chance of living a life of luxury, with bikini-clad, and non-clad women feeding him peeled grapes out by the Olympic-sized pool in the backyard of his palacial estate.

To Marc, all of this sounds a lot better than his current status living in a medium density apartment complex with his girlfriend who posseses about as much personality as a bowl of rotten fruit. I kid, of course. His girlfriend isn't that bad. She is, in fact, much, much, much, much worse. But, this entry isn't about Marc's girlfriend, because I can't come up with the appropriate number of derogatory analogies to describe her at this moment.

Marc's philosophy when it comes to the Powerball is as follows: Simply stated, Marc won't play the Powerball until the jackpot exceeds $60 million. Why? Because, according to Marc, "that would provide enough to live comfortably on." No, I'm not kidding. Those were his exact words one day as we drove aimlessly around the countryside.

Marc explained that, after taxes, which he says will be about 50 percent, he'll only have about $30 million left. And, as we all know, $30 million is pretty much on the cutting edge of the American poverty line. Marc continued to defend his stance, saying he wanted his future children to get comfortable inheritances. I guess I can see that. I mean, after he has 60 children, they'll only stand to inherit, at best, after Marc goes on a lifelong spending spree, around a measly $300,000. That's chump change.

The only reason this discussion between Marc and I came to mind was because I had a pretty good string of luck with scratch lottery cards this weekend, accounting for $108 in winnings. And I don't normally play lottery cards, with this weekend being the first time I had the urge to play in over three months. So, I'm feeling pretty good about my luck yesterday and today. Granted, it's no $60 million, but I'm still pretty damned pleased.

And, for the record, the Powerball is now worth an estimated $101 million. So, I bought two tickets. And, you know, if I win, I may even give Marc a buck or two. It's the least I can do.

Posted by Ryan at December 8, 2002 09:00 PM
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