Rambling Rhodes

Dems Decry State of the

Dems Decry State of the Union Pre-emptively
Party Leaders Adopt New Strategy For Disagreeing With Everything Bush Says

Washington D.C.- Jan. 28, 2002: Top Democratic leaders today poked holes in President Bush's State of the Union Address, a surprising move considering the address has yet to be given.

Standing on the steps of the White House, Senate Democratic Leader Tom Daschle spoke with reporters. His tone was serious as he blasted Bush repeatedly about items he imagined were contained in the President's address.

"If the President thinks the Democratic Party will blindly fall into line while he makes plans to construct a space platform from which he will launch a nuclear attack against Spain and Portugal, well he has another thing coming," said Daschle. "Of course, he never said anything even remotely to that effect, and it's doubtful he'll say that in his address, but if he did, I can assure you we will fight him toe to toe."

Among other items Daschle said he would disagree with should Bush mention them include a full scale invasion into Canada, restructuring the Supreme Court to include 10 Lords a Leaping, Nine Ladies Dancing and A Partridge in a Pear Tree, and requiring all Americans to work, during the non-growing seasons, on large pyramids.

"I mean, what is that man thinking, if he's actually thinking these things?" asked Daschle. "I don't know about you, but I refuse to push a single stone just because Bush may or may not tell me to during his address."

The pre-emptive Democratic strike represents a new aspect to their strategy of strenuously objecting to everything proposed by the President. Widely criticized as a party without direction, the Democrats have struggled to gain parity with the GOP.

"I don't think we're struggling at all," objected Daschle. "Now, the Republicans, a party headed by a President who wants to declare Texas the only state where Americans will be allowed to live, that's a party that's struggling. I tell you, I'm incensed by the State of the Union address I'm imagining, and I won't stand for it."

Posted by Ryan at January 28, 2003 02:01 PM