March 06, 2003

Iraq Continues Destruction of Al

Iraq Continues Destruction of Al Samouds
Hussein Calls U.N. Resolution "tough but fair"

BAGHDAD (Rhodes Media Services) -- Top Iraqi officials, including Saddam Hussein himself, are assuring U.N. officials that they are working around to the clock to dispose of the country's supply of Al Samouds.

"I can assure you that Iraq is in full compliance on this issue," said Iraq's deputy prime minister Tariq Aziz. "We're not sure what, if anything, destroying Al Samouds is supposed to accomplish, but we're willing to try anything to avert a war."

According to official reports provided to chief U.N. weapons inspector Hans Blix, Iraq has, to date, disposed of 62 Al Samouds, including Abdul Al Samoud, Salih Al Samoud, Marouf Al Samoud, and Sarsam Al Samoud. The report said that several more Al Samoud executions are slated for the coming weeks.

"I think this U.N. demand is tough but fair," said Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein. "Quite frankly, I've always thought that there are too many Al Samouds living in Iraq, and this provides a convenient way to get rid of them. I particularly liked finishing off Sarsam Al Samoud. He was always kind of a pain in the ass."

Mundhir Ibrahim al-Shawi, Iraq's minister of justice, said that a variety of techniques have been used to dispose of the Al Samouds, but he said that rifles and handguns at close range seemed to be the most effective.

A visibly shaken Blix responded to the Iraqi report, saying "I don't think they quite understand what we meant."

Posted by Ryan at March 6, 2003 12:39 PM
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