April 10, 2003

Spring Spending Why does it

Spring Spending

Why does it always seem that spring turns out to be the most expensive time of year. Every year, without fail, my car decides that it's going to fail in a variety of ways, and because it's a Cadillac, the failures translate into big sized dollar amounts to get fixed. Last weekend, I brought it in for an oil change and to have the brakes looked at. For some time now, when braking, I noticed that it felt like I was driving over a stack of human bodies. It shouldn't feel like that. It should be smooth.

Turns out, the brake pads were no longer brake pads, and the brakes themselves were very nearly no longer brakes. Price tag: $168. I was also informed that I'm in need of new tires. Not just one or two tires, mind you, but a whole new set of four. I don't want to do that, but neither do I want to hydroplane into a lamp post. I shudder to think of the price tag on four new tires.

Also, the climate control is all out of whack. According to the digital temperature guage, it was 127 degrees outside this morning. That's not right. That's not even close to right. Now, I could live with an incorrect outside temperature reading. I mean, that's a convenience that I could care less about. Unfortunately, the thermostat also misreads the temperature INSIDE the vehicle. Therefore, the heating and air conditioning don't know what the hell is going on. Because it "thinks" it's 127 degrees outside, if I tell it to cool my car down to, say, 75, it cranks out enough cold air to freeze my sperm in an instant. Likewise, if I want a little heat, the confused machine calls forth the flames of the seventh circle of hell. It's a delicate balancing act to keep my car at a comfortable temperature between hypothermia and third degree burns.

I read the car manual so I can find out if a messed up thermostat can be repaired cheaply. I know, it was a foolish gesture. The manual said that faulty thermostats will have to be replaced, and that I should only entrust the thermostat replacement to a certified GM professional. That's Cadillac lingo for "this is fucking gonna cost you."

I like my Cadillac. It's a '96 Eldorado, and it's pretty sporty for a Caddy. It's more comfortable than all the furniture I own, and it's reliable as hell the rest of the year. But, it just gets tired come spring, as if it's saying, "Look, I got you through the winter in one piece. How about a little TLC." I'll provide the TLC. I just wish it didn't cost so much. Cadillac repair shops are the high priced call girls of the automobile world. And I'm about to get royally screwed.

Posted by Ryan at April 10, 2003 04:00 PM
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