April 28, 2003

Yet Another Poetry Reading Michele,

Yet Another Poetry Reading

Michele, over at A Small Victory, is holding yet another poetry contest, this time readers are encouraged to think up poems about Saddam Hussein's 66 birthday, even though it's tough to hold birthdays for millions of atomized particles. Anyway, the contest can be joined right here. Only, don't outdo me, because I think I'm earning a victory here. My contributions are as follows:

1.) With sincere apologies to T.S. Eliot and The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock

Let us go then, Saddam and I
When cruise missiles streak out against the sky
Like a dissident being tortured upon a table
Let us go, through half-deserted streets,
The muttering retreats
Of restless looters in old museums
And coalition forces who do not see them:
Streets that follow like a joyous argument
Of liberated intent
To lead you to an overwhelming question. . .
Oh, do not ask, "Where is Uday?"
Let us go and enjoy your birthday.

In the streets the people come and go
Talking of Hussein The Asshole

2.) Saddam turned 66 today, a party is in order
Too bad the guest of honor may be across the Syrian border
Or maybe he's all dead and stuff, a rotting beret and big moustache
Crushed beneath many tons of bunker, concrete, soot and ash.
But let's pretend the man's alive, and keen to party down
So let's order up balloons and cake and maybe, yes, a clown
And if he's dead, let's find his corpse, and suffer through the stench
God knows the smell can't be near as bad as partying with the French
Let's get some kegs and hard liquor and toast the fallen man
And we'll throw all of the party trash in neighboring Iran
We'll rock the Casbah day and night, and pull down statues, too
While yelling loud, for all to hear, "Saddam, this Bud's for you!"

3.) As composed and read by the Iraqi Information Minister, Baghdad Bob:

The great Saddam, still in control, is 66 years young
Truly, truly I tell you this, because mine is not a lying tongue
He's alive, I tell you, alive and well, and defeating the U.S. snake
So destroyed are they, that Saddam has decided, to take a birthday break
He will tour the streets of Baghdad, and to show that he does care
He'll hold a rifle with one hand, and shoot it in the air
But the bullets won't just fall to earth, and bury in the sand
No, they'll hit U.S. soldiers on their heads, and kill them where they stand
Because Saddam is great and good, the powerful leader of Iraq
He can take a birthday break, and still repel a U.S.-led attack
Now I must go, this briefing's done, there's nothing more to say
But Saddam's alive, this I know, because this is his birthday

I encourage you all to take part. It's great fun.

Posted by Ryan at April 28, 2003 03:12 PM
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