September 02, 2003

A Spam To Be Shared, Savored, Laughed At, And Ignored

I don't normally give spam e-mails even a passing nod, but this one had me howling. HOWLING I tell you.

Dear Sir

With great pleasure and regards do please consider our request I got your contact from an email directory and I decided to contact you and seeker your
assistance to help me make claim of my fund. i am from Angola and my father was the rebel learder who was short dead on monday 25, febuary 2002, by the opposing force of Angola Army force, for the pass years now our country have been in political crisis and conflits, between the Unita rebel and government allied forces

Well, gee, how can I NOT take "great pleasure" away from that paragraph? He was short dead? Do the midgets of the world know of this life-threatening affliction?


I am living hear in the Netherland as asylum seeker and my family are in Gabon. Before the death of my father he has disclosed to me about fund he had deposited in a security company hear in Holland The total amount of which happened to be 32 million USDollars. The ducument covering the consignment fund was handed over to me by my father before his death,i carefully search and found the security company where i confirmed that the consignment were deposited in their security vauit in Holland.As the next of king to the depositor,the security company has accepted to release the consignment.

Well, he can't spell for shit, but he sure can concoct a whopper of a tale. Best line: "which happened to be 32 million USDollars." Well, if it just HAPPENED to be that much, I'll bite.

I am seeking your assistance because, my father has declared the record With security company stating that his foreign partner shall be the authorised person to make claim on this consignment because of his position in the goverment on which no name was giving by my late father as his foreign partner to this effect,i request to make you the beneficiary of this consignment.for your assistance,i am ready to give you 15 percent, from the the total fund.

Oh, happy, joyful, day! How lucky I am to be singled out for this wondrous financial windfall! I'll be rich, I tell you! Rich! My take in the whole deal will just HAPPEN to be $4.8 million!

Note this transaction is 100% risk free and of mutul benefit to both of us.In this situation every process to completely move this fund may exceed for 7 working days,with your co-operation to assist me and my family.

Well, it's a good thing he pointed out this is a risk-free endeavor. I was getting kind of suspicious there for a second. But, relax Ryan. All is kosher.

Dear friend include your phone,fax number address for easier communication and to notify the security company,you are the beneficiary who will make claims of the fund i will be very grateful to hear from you as soon as possible to know how to proceed.

Well, friend, let's proceed thusly. I will extend my middle finger, tell you to kindly fuck off, maybe brush up on your English writing proficiency, and then perhaps you can go to hell. Let's proceed like that, shall we? Please contact me if you have any questions on this process.

Posted by Ryan at September 2, 2003 04:45 PM
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