September 17, 2003

Ketchup Is Pissing Me Off

Heinz Ketchup has just gone too far. Far too far. Really, what genius at Heinz thought it would be a good idea to make the plastic restaurant bottles red?

Sure, they make it look as if they're full to the tip, but they're not. Sometimes, there's not so much as a squirt left at the bottom, and yet there the bottle stands looking perfectly full.

Now the waitresses can just glide by and assume everything is fine, when in reality there's so little ketchup at my table, my fries can only be afforded a light blush application of ketchup.

Bring back the clear bottles, Heinz! Stop trying to hide the nation's ketchup shortage behind a cloak of red plastic. Ketchup bottles should only be completely red if they're completely full, so waitresses know when they need to be refilled and households know when they have to prop the bottles upside down to get at the last blorp in the bottle.

Vote NO to red ketchup bottles in '04. Do your duty as an American citizen.

UPDATE: Upon reflection, I guess it's not all bad. As Dave Barry would note, "Red Ketchup Bottles" would be a great name for a rock band.

Posted by Ryan at September 17, 2003 03:02 PM
Post a comment

Remember personal info?

StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!