February 10, 2004

The Horrors Of Accumulated Butt Sweat

For the last couple of weeks, I've been getting whiffs and sniffs of something rather unpleasant. I mean, the odor hasn't been destructive or anything. It's subtle, but definitely not pleasing. I realized just now where the odor has been coming from.

It's been coming from my work chair.

I wasn't sure at first. Well, I had a hunch because, although the smell wasn't extremely powerful, I recognize the odor of butt sweat when I smell it. It has a unique odor signature, kind of like a fingerprint.

So, I started doing some quick Sherlock Holmes type thinking. Firstly, I've been sitting on the same cushioned chair now for three years. That's a lot of eight hour days planted almost exclusively on a sweat-absorbing cushion. Let me be clear here. I'm not a chronic butt sweater.

It's not like I have a tropical rainforest syndrome cooking away in my butt crack or anything. However, a little toast of warm cheeks on the same surface for eight hours a day for the last three years has apparently taken an odiferous toll. Of course, I wanted to make absolute sure before I gave up my comfy chair. So, I took the obvious course of action: I got down and smelled my chair seat.

Oh. My.

It wasn't an appalling odor, which is to say the chair shouldn't be burned with high heat or anything like that. But, it most assuredly did not smell as pleasant as I would like. I want my chairs to be as butt sweat odor free as possible.

So, I switched chairs. I am now officially on day one with my new chair. I anticipate needing a new chair sometime in 2007.

Posted by Ryan at February 10, 2004 03:16 PM
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