So, I went camping with my girlfriend last weekend, and I came to a sad and sobering conclusion. Namely, I discovered that my girlfriend doesn't know how to camp, or, more appropriately, my girlfriend doesn't know how to camp the Ryan Rhodes way.
You see, my camping expectations are fairly modest. When I go camping, I want to light fireworks, eat potato chips and other junk food, drink some beer, build a campfire so large it can be seen on the moon, and sleep in a tent. These are my modest camping goals and, by adhering to these goals, I have yet to endure a bad camping experience.
Sadly, my girlfriend doesn't apparently understand my streamlined approach to camping. Whereas I like to do nothing when I'm camping, she's not content unless she's busy doing something, which is a totally alien camping approach to me.
I became suspicious of my girlfriend's concept of camping when, while discussing our one day camping trip, she said we should sit down and make a list of the things we'd need. A list? What's that? Is it some sort of firework, or possibly a brand of beer?
Making a list of camping necessities is, to me, a ridiculous idea. After all, camping is supposed to be an excuse to get away from it all, not to make a list so you remember to bring it all with you.
"How is camping even fun for you?" she asked, and I explained that, when camping, all I want to do is light fireworks, eat potato chips and other junk food, drink some beer, build a campfire so large it can be seen on the moon, and sleep in a tent. She didn't seem to understand what the heck I was talking about.
But, it was our eventual conversation about camping food that almost sent her over the edge. She said we had to go to the grocery store to buy chicken breasts and potatoes and bread and something to cook for breakfast and. . . I gave her a blank stare.
"I thought we'd just go to a restaurant before we go out to the campsite," I offered hopefully, and she clenched her teeth and rolled her eyes so far back in her head I think she saw her own brain.
Apparently, for my girlfriend, cooking a complicated meal over a campfire is an integral part of the camping experience. I, on the other hand, believe cooking a complicated meal over a campfire constitutes doing something and, as I pointed out earlier, when I go camping I want to do nothing.
It's so simple, really. All I want to do is light fireworks, eat potato chips and other junk food, drink some beer, build a campfire so large it can be seen on the moon, and sleep in a tent. Why is that so hard to understand?
As a compromise, we settled on buying bratwurst, which are super easy to cook, although I was still a little disappointed that we didn't go out to a restaurant.
In the end, my girlfriend busied herself with cooking bratwurst, cleaning up around the campsite, including, if you can believe this, putting a "Welcome" mat in front of the tent.
I, on the other hand, lit fireworks, ate potato chips and other junk food, drank some beer, built a campfire so large it could be seen on the moon, and slept in a tent.
Posted by Ryan at July 28, 2003 11:06 AM
Stumble It!
