October 10, 2003

Limerick Contest, Where The Winner Wins Nothing

Michele, over at A Small Victory, is conducting another limerick contest. You don't win anything except bragging rights which, for me, is like the best prize ever. The rules:

-- Your limerick must contain the names/site names of at least one blogger.

-- Mentions of multiple bloggers (preferably with links) in your limerick will score you more points.

-- Putting the mentioned bloggers in a comprimising or scandalous position in your limerick gets points, as long as it is done so in a humurous manner, and not meant to intentionally hurt someone.

-- posting the limerick on your blog and linking back to this post will score points.
Getting the blogger(s) you mention in your limerick to link to you gets more points (you must leave a comment here with the link).

-- If you are not a blogger, but participating, you can get handicap points.

-- Mentioning anyone running in the presidential race, or anyone who is thinking about running in the presidential race of 2004 is forbidden.

-- You cannot mention me (Michele) in your limerick.

-- Extra points if you can squeeze in a reference to any of the following: donuts, the Yankees, hockey, Radiohead, menstrual cramps, Hello Kitty, PETA, Jonah Goldberg, NPR, The Village Voice, Google or Fark (that was a very random list, culled from walking through my blogroll and has no meaning, so don't look for it).

-- If you don't follow the standard limerick form, you are disqualified.

My submissions thus far are listed below:

Laurence Simon, the blogger of yore
Has a blog that features cat stories galore
One day Nardo attacked him
While another cat whacked him
Who picked Laurence Simon for the Dead Pool? Score!

The perplexing moonbat blogger, Hesiod
Had a real name of Hank, Bob or Ted
His political mind
Is one of a kind
Who knew that one could blog while brain dead?

James Lileks was writing his Bleat
And he was nude because of the heat.
Just then the phone rang
And Jasper nipped at his wang
Bad dog! That's not a dog treat!

A limerick praising me from Doggerelpundit :

Good Lim'ricks require a good planner,
And Ryan doth write in this manner.
His concepts are clever
His rhyming bad? Never!
(Oh, perhaps a small boost as a scanner)

My response:

Doggerelpundit writes words that do flatter
I'm so happy I couldn't be gladder
In fact, I'm so pleased
My bowels just released
And now here I sit in my own fecal matter.

I sure miss the fake blogger named Puce.
With misspellings he wrote fast and loose.
He was a hit real quick
With his directive to CLICK
And he was a magnet for commenting abuse.

The Instapundit, known as Glenn Reynolds
Spends his time stalking dog kennels
He prefers to eat puppies
That were once owned by yuppies
And spice them with paprika and fennel

Posted by Ryan at October 10, 2003 10:27 AM
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